# Question Regarding Regret & Sikh



## jhelmick (Mar 1, 2011)

I am a college student seeking answers for a psychology assignment regarding how Sikhs (sp?) deal with regret, what causes it, what it does to your person, and how to live without it. Lastly, how important it is in Sikh faith.

Below is the actual question given by my instructor:


_Choose a major religion . Summarize what they say about regret - what causes it, what it does to a
person, and how to live without it. How important is regret in this religion's belief system?
Compare CiaJdini 's explain and the religion 's. Compare their responses, too . (BTW, I believe
Cialdini is trying to explain human nature, while religions are trying to respond to human nature,
trying to help us deal with our nature and strive for more.)_


Note:  Cialdini is the author of our class text: _Influence: Science & Practice._



 This was chosen because of my interest in this particular religion and faith

Thank you in advance for your kind replies. Also, time is of the essence in this matter as this paper is due Friday. No worries, it is not a long paper, perhaps a page or two at most and then there are other categories I need to address regarding this.

Regards,
Jesse


----------



## spnadmin (Mar 1, 2011)

My initial reaction is that you need to use a search engine and search Sri Guru Granth Sahib to see what is textually correct. That is always the starting place. Let me try to get a page of links for you. When you see the word "regret" in a line of Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji, do not stop there but continue to the source page, and read THE ENTIRE PAGE. Because Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji is poetry and the meaning of any one line is embedded in the context of many lines surrounding it. Pay especial attention to lines that end in "rehao" for these give the key to the rest before and after.

Here This link will get you started with 25 references to "regret" and they are links to full shabads. There are 75 links in all I believe or times when the word is used in Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji.

http://www.searchgurbani.com/guru_granth_sahib/search_results


----------



## spnadmin (Mar 1, 2011)

This is what the Rehao line will look like. Ang btw means "limb" of the Guru and is equivalent to a page number in Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji.

Ang 156 Line 18 Raag Gauri Bairaagan: Guru Nanak Dev

ਮੂੜੇ ਫਿਰਿ ਪਾਛੈ ਪਛੁਤਾਹਿ ਰੇ ॥੧*॥ ਰਹਾਉ ॥*

*Moorrae Fir Paashhai Pashhuthaahi Rae ||1|| Rehaao ||*

मूड़े फिरि पाछै पछुताहि रे ॥१*॥ रहाउ ॥*

You fool - you shall regret and repent in the end! *||1||Pause||*


----------



## jhelmick (Mar 1, 2011)

spnadmin said:


> My initial reaction is that you need to use a search engine and search Sri Guru Granth Sahib to see what is textually correct. That is always the starting place. Let me try to get a page of links for you. When you see the word "regret" in a line of Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji, do not stop there but continue to the source page, and read THE ENTIRE PAGE. Because Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji is poetry and the meaning of any one line is embedded in the context of many lines surrounding it. Pay especial attention to lines that end in "rehao" for these give the key to the rest before and after.
> 
> Here This link will get you started with 25 references to "regret" and they are links to full shabads. There are 75 links in all I believe or times when the word is used in Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji.
> 
> http://www.searchgurbani.com/guru_granth_sahib/search_results



Much appreciated.  But before I embark on such a mission, is this written in a way someone unfamiliar with the faith would be able to readily understand?  Sometimes, a good discussion with someone who knows and can explain in "layman's terms" may be more appropriate for something like this.  I'll check it out though.


----------



## jhelmick (Mar 1, 2011)

That search link produced an error..


----------



## spnadmin (Mar 1, 2011)

Try it now.


----------



## spnadmin (Mar 1, 2011)

jhelmick said:


> Much appreciated.  But before I embark on such a mission, is this written in a way someone unfamiliar with the faith would be able to readily understand?  Sometimes, a good discussion with someone who knows and can explain in "layman's terms" may be more appropriate for something like this.  I'll check it out though.



Layman's terms can lead in erroneous directions. Even when one gives the answers in plain English it needs to be checked against what SGGS actually says.


----------



## jhelmick (Mar 1, 2011)

Another database error.  I've even copied/pasted the link with the same error.  As far as deciphering it, as much as I would love to spend time doing that (always wanted to do translation from old texts), I don't really have the time.  This is due Friday.


----------



## jhelmick (Mar 1, 2011)

Spnadmin Ji,

Found a "Boundless Scripture of Guru Granth Sahib"  is this what you refer to?  I simply removed the /search_results switch. Anyway, is this what you refer to?
This is great stuff, though. I'm bookmarking a lot of pages so I can go back to it later.


----------



## spnadmin (Mar 1, 2011)

The link works for me. Strange you are having problems. Don't see a link with the switch removed. 

Until you can see the search results and go to the Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji text, all you will have is what some people think is the answer. And it may or may not be what is a Sikh view, but what a consensus of some people on a forum think is the Sikh view. So if your paper is what a quick sample of convenience believe, you should be OK harvesting opinions. If your professor is looking for something more serious, you really need to be able to validate opinions against something reliable and trustworthy.

Also why would you want other people to do your thinking for you? So I am glad to hear you are bookmarking like mad.


----------



## jhelmick (Mar 1, 2011)

spnadmin said:


> The link works for me. Strange you are having problems. Don't see a link with the switch removed.
> 
> Until you can see the search results and go to the Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji text, all you will have is what some people think is the answer. And it may or may not be what is a Sikh view, but what a consensus of some people on a forum think is the Sikh view. So if your paper is what a quick sample of convenience believe, you should be OK harvesting opinions. If your professor is looking for something more serious, you really need to be able to validate opinions against something reliable and trustworthy.
> 
> Also why would you want other people to do your thinking for you? So I am glad to hear you are bookmarking like mad.



I think I've just been insulted.  Seriously though, No, I am not looking for anyone to do my thinking for me, but I wanted to gather opinions of those in the Sikh faith, that are more experienced in this than I am. Perhaps I'm just a bit desperate at this point.  This isn't a one-time-thing.  My good friend Teji will tell you I've had interest in the Sikh faith for some years, so you will see more of me here.

Well, let me try in another browser, I use Firefox but will try IE.  Perhaps you could E-mail me the link?  Something in the forum might be interfering.  

Side note: I tried a search on the site for regret, no luck either.  I want to also tell you how much I appreciate you helping me in this matter.


----------



## Ambarsaria (Mar 2, 2011)

jhelmick said:


> Spnadmin Ji,
> 
> Found a "Boundless Scripture of Guru Granth Sahib"  is this what you refer to?  I simply removed the /search_results switch. Anyway, is this what you refer to?
> This is great stuff, though. I'm bookmarking a lot of pages so I can go back to it later.


jhelmick ji you may also try the following,

http://www.gurbanifiles.org/translations/Gurmukhi to English translation of SGGS, page by page.pdf

What you will generally find is that "The Shabads" (individual Stanzas of Poetry set to musical rhythms in all of the 1430 pages") are _regrets having to do with_,



Not used the times in youth and while young for spiritual understanding and one moving on towards old age
Following wasteful practices in deeds or actions for spirituality
Falling into the traps or out of balance with,


Kam      (lust)
Krodh      (anger)
Lobh      (greed)
Moh      (attachment)
Hankar      (pride)

Also Sikhism believes that we basically reap what we sow, in practical day to day kirat (work) and kamai (earnings). So there is no absolution based on seeing preacher for your past weeks bad deeds and getting away with a regret.
One thing that sets apart the tone of the teachings is that there is no threat or promise of "Hell" or "Heaven".
There are no damnation or permanent stamp of Good or Bad offered in the teachings which are for a practical and fulfilling life
One God that is everywhere in everyone and everything is right there within grasp for cherishing, discovering as you wish
Once you understand yourself you will understand others as all are from one God

In one of the references I found a summary that,


> _At other times transformational leaders may attempt to instill feelings of regret or even guilt __to cause followers to make amends for past failings, set aside self-interest and serve the interest of the larger group. _
> 
> In Sikhism there are reminders on the passage of time and need for vigilant spirituality.  So it does not totally follow the above but parts may be seen as similar.  The teachings in the references given by spnadmin ji (from Sri Guru Granth Sahib ji, Sikhism holy book) are almost all written first person addressed to one directly or indirectly.  There is not much a question of self interest or group interest but spirituality.  The good begets good being left at that.



I wonder if this is in line with the thoughts behind the thread.

Sat Sri Akal.


----------



## jhelmick (Mar 2, 2011)

Tried it in IE, no success. Still getting the database error. For clarification, I removed the switch in the link, which took me to the site's home page.

I've tried other links in this thread, like the last one, and this produced a 404 "Page not found." error.  I don't understand this and I used to work in this field.  Very frustrating but thank you, Ambarsaria Ji.  What you've posted should be helpful.


----------



## Tejwant Singh (Mar 2, 2011)

jhelmick said:


> I am a college student seeking answers for a psychology assignment regarding how Sikhs (sp?) deal with regret, what causes it, what it does to your person, and how to live without it. Lastly, how important it is in Sikh faith.
> 
> Below is the actual question given by my instructor:
> 
> ...



Hi Jesse,

<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>  <w:WordDocument>   <w:View>Normal</w:View>   <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom>   <wunctuationKerning/>   <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/>   <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>   <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent>   <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>   <w:Compatibility>    <w:BreakWrappedTables/>    <w:SnapToGridInCell/>    <w:WrapTextWithPunct/>    <w:UseAsianBreakRules/>    <wontGrowAutofit/>   </w:Compatibility>   <w:BrowserLevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel>  </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>  <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" LatentStyleCount="156">  </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style>  /* Style Definitions */  table.MsoNormalTable     {mso-style-name:"Table Normal";     mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;     mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;     mso-style-noshow:yes;     mso-style-parent:"";     mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;     mso-para-margin:0in;     mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt;     mso-pagination:widow-orphan;     font-size:10.0pt;     font-family:"Times New Roman";     mso-ansi-language:#0400;     mso-fareast-language:#0400;     mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]-->Welcome to the forum and thanks for choosing Sikhism as your subject of discussion for your paper. As mentioned to you over the phone, you will get responses for your queries here and we will do our best to help you out. As you are new to Sikhi (Sikhism in English), I will try to go with the basics and if you have any more questions, please do not hesitate to ask because there are many learned people here who will be able to give you the right answer.

  Now let me try to dissect your question in order to find the answer:



> _Choose a major religion. Summarize what they say about *regret* - what causes it, what it does to a person, and how to live without it. How important is regret in this religion's belief system?_


  One can see the word _*regret*_ from several different angles. 

The first one is that some people take actions knowing that they will regret its results/consequences later on but they are emotionally invested in it so much that they really do not care before committing that error and then when the things go awry as expected, they regret about it.

  Case in point is what Spnadmin ji mentioned from the verse in the Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji: Gurbani, as the Sikh scripture is known as warns us from the self created traps in our lives and gives us the tools how to avoid them.



> This is what the Rehao line will look like. Ang btw means "limb" of the Guru and is equivalent to a page number in Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji.
> 
> Ang 156 Line 18 Raag Gauri Bairaagan: Guru Nanak Dev
> 
> ...


  You can check the whole verse here: http://www.srigranth.org/servlet/gurbani.gurbani

  The second angle is that some people are not afraid to make mistakes in lives and are risk takers in order to advance in their professions, thought processes or in life in general and hence open enough to learn from the negative results/consequences if the things do not go as well as they had planned to. Here, there is no thought of regret because what could have been a regret becomes the learning process. In other words, what became the stumbling block can turn into a stepping stone.

  Both the above situations are related to our mind and how we use it Mind is called Mann in Punjabi and Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji, is filled with verses that give us the tools how to maneuver our mind towards the right direction. 

Sikh, meaning a student, a learner, a seeker; has only one goal that is to use one’s mind in a constructive manner which makes us cope with regrets created by us or when things do not go the way we had planned.

  The last angle is of *force majeure*, something that is out of our hands and may become regretful. One example is a sudden health problems that may arise which may make one incapacitated or one is not able to do the things that one used to do. Many questions come to mind as a human and the first one is ‘why me’?

  Here also Sikhi gives us the tools through Gurbani from Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji how to cope with these set backs which were out of our hands and makes one come to the conclusion, ‘why not me’?

  Sikhi teaches us to cultivate the positive attitude so that we can cope with the set backs-regrets- of our lives in a meaningful manner.

  As they say, when life gives us a couple of lemons, it also gives us the recipe to make lemonade out of. Hence, no regrets.

  Thanks & regards

  Tejwant Singh

  PS: Please do not hesitate to ask if my comments create more questions in your mind.


----------



## Ambarsaria (Mar 2, 2011)

jhelmick ji try the following,

http://www.searchgurbani.com/guru_granth_sahib/search

The following values in search window,

          Find results with text                          regret
             Return results                                      with any   of the words
             Find results in language                         English
             Find results from text written by            Any Author
             Find results from text related to raag          Any Raag
             Find results from page between               1  and     1430

Good luck,

Sat Sri Akal.


----------



## jhelmick (Mar 2, 2011)

Thanks to everyone who contributed, your assistance is greatly appreciated. Perhaps I should have asked for guidance with referencing to scripture... that's what I was looking for and Tejwant Ji nailed it.  But everyone else was helpful too, as I now have access to information not known to me before.  At any rate, I will be ploughing thru everything and compiling it into my paper and let you know how it turned out.

Again, thank you, it's doubtful I would have completed this assignment without your help.

Regards,
Jesse


----------



## Ambarsaria (Mar 2, 2011)

jhelmick said:


> Thanks to everyone who contributed, your assistance is greatly appreciated. Perhaps I should have asked for guidance with referencing to scripture... that's what I was looking for and Tejwant Ji nailed it.  But everyone else was helpful too, as I now have access to information not known to me before.  At any rate, I will be ploughing thru everything and compiling it into my paper and let you know how it turned out.
> 
> Again, thank you, it's doubtful I would have completed this assignment without your help.
> 
> ...


Jesse ji, come by again and stay in touch.  There is lot of other stuff here.  For example the following,

http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/sikh-sikhi-sikhism/29740-bertrand-russell-and-the-basics-sikhism.html

Sat Sri Akal.:singhsippingcoffee:


----------



## jhelmick (Mar 2, 2011)

I've turned in a rough copy of my paper, which is about 3 pages long (assignment asks for 3 paragraphs! LOL!).  I'm a writer, so this is typical for me and my prof encourages it.  I thrive on research papers when others are crunching numbers.  He will return the paper with suggestions to add where the text is concerned and some lecture.  I then write the final draft to be turned in by Friday midnight via E-mail.

Ambarsaria ji, I plan to return daily.  That does not necessarily mean I will post daily, so you don't have to worry.   You have all made me feel very welcome.


----------



## jhelmick (Mar 8, 2011)

Update:  Although my instructor really likes my paper, he has not graded it but asked me to add some Cialdini material.  So, I have done that, and now awaiting the final grade.

Just thought I'd post this update.


----------



## jhelmick (Mar 12, 2011)

I owe each contributor a debt of gratitude.  My score was 95%.  I think it deserves a 100, but then, again, I am biased.  

Thanks again, all!

Respectfully, 
Jesse


----------

