# Will I Offend Anyone If I Wear A Punjabi Suit (Salwar Kameez) To Gurdwara?



## Harkiran Kaur (Jul 31, 2012)

I have found since going to the Gurdwara the past few weeks, that western pants (even loose khakis) are decidedly uncomfortable sitting cross legged on the floor for long periods.  I mentioned to the people who have been giving me rides (he is a white convert and full Amrit, and she is Punjabi and they have 3 beautiful children! Anyway they have been taking me under their wing) I mentioned to them that I notice that virtually all the women there wear salwar kameez and the men wear western clothing (very weird) but anyway I also mentioned that I kind of envy the women because salwar kameez looks so comfortable for sitting on the floor, not to mention it's a bit more modest when bowing in front of Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji and having a chunni always at hand as part of the outfit is very practical.  (Secretly, I also LOVE the variety of rich fabrics, colours, embroidery, sequins and beadwork) 

Anyway, they took me shopping after we left the Gurdwara - her and her sister thought it was a wonderful idea to get me into a salwar kameez.  Together we picked out a cream yellow and brown suit - It has patiala style loose pants (brown) and a cream coloured long tunic which has embroidery on the front kind of in a leaves motif in brown and green thread and with some sequins throughout.  Along the bottom front of the tunic is about a 2 inch strip of all sequins.  The chunni is mostly the cream yellow with brown at the ends and has a thin gold border sewn on.  It looks amazing!  

Anyway I am worried that wearing it might offend some of the other ladies there... with my not being Punjabi.  Obviously it was a Punjabi lady who took me shopping for it, but I don't know if all Indian women think the same.  Generally, what do Indian people think of white westerns wearing Indian clothing like Salwar Kameez?  I only plan on wearing it to Gurdwara or other Sikh functions for now... but it is beautiful and I love it. And it's so comfortable.  

I wish fashion was two ways. Indian women can wear western clothing without any thought.... however I have been told that some Indian women can take offence to a white westerner wearing Indian clothes like a punjabi suit / salwar kameez. 

What are your thoughts?


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## Ambarsaria (Jul 31, 2012)

Bhain (sister) Akasha ji it is very simple.  How you feel and enjoy it will be reflected in how you will see others perceive it.  I have never come across people making negative comments in my experience, though I am male.

So enjoy and don't sweat the small stuff,

Sat Sri Akal.


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## Gyani Jarnail Singh (Jul 31, 2012)

WEAR WHAT EVER...makes you feel comfortable...says GURU NANAK JI. You dont need any other's opinions.


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## Ishna (Jul 31, 2012)

Bhenji, speaking from personal experience, Punjabis just love it when you wear salwar kameez!  I was worried it would be pretensious of me to wear a salwar kameez to Gurdwara but I couldn't have been more wrong - even if you buy the plainest one in the shop you're almost guaranteed that aunties will tell you how pretty you look in it.   Also, it's hard not to look good in one, they are a truly remarkable piece of clothing.


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## Rory (Jul 31, 2012)

I don't think you should care.
mundahug
If you're happy, do it.


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## AkashdeepSingh (Jul 31, 2012)

Even though I'm male I doubt anyone will judge you but also alot of men wear the traditional Kurta Pajama with the long shirt with pants is a traditional clothing worn by men often to the gurdwara.


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## Harkiran Kaur (Jul 31, 2012)

AkashdeepSingh said:


> Even though I'm male I doubt anyone will judge you but also alot of men wear the traditional Kurta Pajama with the long shirt with pants is a traditional clothing worn by men often to the gurdwara.



Hmmm here it's very weird.... the men's side are all wearing western clothing (jeans and tees, or shirt and tie with more business style pants)  while the women's aide is a sea of colourful salwar kameez (except for me... I was wearing a conservatively styles tunic top or short kurta from India with loose khakis which I thought would be comfortable - they weren't)  So why do the men all seem to wear western clothes (even the older ones recently from India) while the women wear more traditional clothing? I love their clothing however... 

Thanks for the responses everyone. The gist I am getting is that it shouldn't offend anyone.  If anyone does ask me why I am wearing it, I will simply say for comfort sitting like that since patiala style pants are so loose and comfortable and that taking me out shopping for it was a suggestion by one of the Punjabi women as a kind gesture that I appreciated and it would be shame to not end up wearing it after she made such an effort!


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## hpannu (Jul 31, 2012)

3 years ago, I was in contact with a Inter Religious group from our area. One of the ladies asked me if they can visit our Gurduara Sahib. My reply was sure, just make sure you wear something appropriate for the occasion, you will be sitting cross legged on the floor like everyone else. When they showed up on Sunday ( 1 Jewish + 1 Christian ) one was wearing dress pants and the other long skirt upto to the ankles. I always wear Kurta Pajama to Gurduara Sahib. My sister assisted both of them. Believe it or not they were there for over 3 hours and left after partaking langar. When i asked them at the end how they felt. There first answer was - Now we know why you wear long clothes like this. We had a good laugh about what's appropriate ? and they enjoyed their first visit.


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## Luckysingh (Jul 31, 2012)

I think you fnd more men in western clothing except for a few babaey because most of us can't be bothered to change especially if we were working earlier in the day or are going to go to work after.
The women on the other hand mostly do change into comfortable wear. Some may be wearing skirts etc.. during the day for work and would obviously struggle to matha tek and sit unless they can sit on their knees like muslims!!- Therefore we find more women in traditional wear as this is normally the easiest thing to change into rather than blouse and jeans.

With men, no one really cares what they wear and we are normally comfortable in our regular daily wear. 
I mean lately, it's been so hot out here and most blokes are in shorts. For some reason, I felt it not suitable to turn up at the gurdwara in shorts, so I went on a detour to go home first to get changed a few times. Then, I noticed many others in shorts at the gurdwara, so last week I decided to keep mine on and not get changed.
But wearing shorts was certainly not a good experience for me!!!!
-Whilst I was having langar, some very hot daal dripped from my spoon straight onto my bare leg and AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!. - although I tried to act tough!!


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## Harkiran Kaur (Jul 31, 2012)

Okay just to give everyone a giggle.... here is the suit we picked out for me... sorry for the really bad pic (it was taken on my friend's crappy older LG phone).  So.... are the pants supposed to be THAT baggy?  I assume they are from photos I have seen on patiala style... I know they are VERY comfortable!  So this is the outfit I will be wearing this coming Sunday... can my pasty white self pull it off?? lol

View attachment 6641​


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## Ishna (Jul 31, 2012)

Akasha bhenji, I couldn't read your post because the picture was covering it up a bit but the suit is beautiful!!!  And yeah, the pants will be *huge*.  I'm so happy for you!!  *claps *


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## Embers (Aug 1, 2012)

Looks good to me, I don't think you should worry about your skin tone  Go for it and let us know how you enjoy the day.


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## hpannu (Aug 1, 2012)

Akasha said:


> Okay just to give everyone a giggle.... here is the suit we picked out for me... sorry for the really bad pic (it was taken on my friend's crappy older LG phone).  So.... are the pants supposed to be THAT baggy?  I assume they are from photos I have seen on patiala style... I know they are VERY comfortable!  So this is the outfit I will be wearing this coming Sunday... can my pasty white self pull it off?? lol



Akasha Ji -  Baggy pants is Patiala style Salvar. You picked the right one or someone helping you picked the right one. They look good. The colors of the suit give you color too ( atleast in the picture you posted they do ) So there goes the pasty white self ! LOL cheerleader


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## Harry Haller (Aug 1, 2012)

> So there goes the pasty white self ! LOL



surely not the same pasty white self look that is a multi million dollar market in India, that women spend a fortune on?


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## Harkiran Kaur (Aug 1, 2012)

harry haller said:


> surely not the same pasty white self look that is a multi million dollar market in India, that women spend a fortune on?



I never understood that!  I would love to be able to even have a little bit of tan!  I am so white that people ask me if I am anemic sometimes!  I am much more attracted to darker skinned guys... I guess that works since I chose Sikhi as my path!  I hope to settle down with a nice Sikh Punjabi guy! I think Indian women were blessed with beauty and their darker skin tones are part of that... so why try to get rid of it?? 

Back to the topic - certain colours do bring out a bit more colour in me though.... PINK (any shade - my favourite) and any golds / bronzes / yellows / browns / tans and I can even pull off oranges in the more rust / sienna tones.  Even though yellow and gold are light colours, they are vibrant so it seems to work.  Was thinking of trying an airbrush tan though.... haha


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## Harkiran Kaur (Aug 1, 2012)

hpannu said:


> Akasha Ji -  Baggy pants is Patiala style Salvar. You picked the right one or someone helping you picked the right one.



I know most of the women had patiala salwar on, but some also had churridars... I might get a churridar set as well to change things up.  The big thing is loose (which both are - churridar is only tight at the ankle) and the tunic is long enough to cover my butt!  mundahug


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## Harkiran Kaur (Aug 31, 2012)

Sat Sri Akal,

I just wanted to calrify now that I have 3 punjabi suits to alternate (and I will probably have more) that NOBODY seems to have taken offense to me wearing them at all at the Gurdwara! In fact, all the Aunties keep telling me how nice I look!! I even had some of the younger Sikh guys come up to me asking me about my choice to be Sikh, they all told me they are impressed, and then they also tell me how nice I look wearing the punjabi suit too!! (Doesnt matter though, my heart belongs to another Punjabi Sikh guy - who also consequently likes me wearing Punjabi Suits!) 

Ya know, I secretly wish that this dress would take off in North America for ALL women!  It's functional, can range from casual looks to very ornate, compliments just about EVERY body type - it hides the problem areas lol, is modest (looks good without being trashy) and it has to be about the most comfortable thing I have ever worn!!!  It can be switched up between salwar pants, churridar pants, and some tunics (the shorter ones) even work well with jeans or khakis etc.  The myth purpetrated online of white girls not looking good in Indian clothes I think is more based on people who pick colours that don't suit them.  I know that bright geometric patterns do NOT suit me... more solid colours with embellishments work better in the pinks, tans, browns, golds, burgundy etc. ranges... maybe even teal/brown together.  It's like anything else... wear what suits your skin tones.


Girls: Those of us in North America... I say we put the bug into fashion designers ears!!! If ppl see it on the runway you never know!!! What do you say? LOL It wouldn't be the first time that international ethnic clothing would have made an influence into new designs!


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## Rory (Sep 1, 2012)

It sounds like so much fun. I wish I had a good excuse to own some traditional Punjabi clothes.


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## Harry Haller (Sep 1, 2012)

Roryji

When I have Anand Karaj with Mrs Harry, I will invite you japposatnamwaheguru:


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## Harkiran Kaur (Sep 1, 2012)

harry haller said:


> Roryji
> 
> When I have Anand Karaj with Mrs Harry, I will invite you japposatnamwaheguru:



Ohhhh when is the big day!? and Congrats!!!


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## Harry Haller (Sep 2, 2012)

Akasha said:


> Ohhhh when is the big day!? and Congrats!!!



uhmm I guess when we can both appreciate it, understand it, and have the spiritual understanding to know what we are committing ourselves to. 

Neither of us like noisy gatherings, and as unfashionable as it is, I think I would just like Anand Karaj followed by Langar, Mrs Harry has a son, I have two parents and a brother, so it seems pointless hiring a hall with Alaap lol lol lol

We have both led quite crazy lives, and seen enough drunken singing to last a lifetime, it is not a question of being seen to be righteous , for young people getting married, I think it is good to celebrate and be happy, and there is a lot of family to cater for, I think it can be quite a pressure, traditions have to be followed, gifts exchanged etc, I think it is a Punjabi thing, rather than a Sikh thing, I am sure we were 20 years younger, We would do it like everyone else, but as we have both seen life, something quiet and meaningful would be very nice.


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## Rory (Sep 2, 2012)

harry haller said:
			
		

> drunken singing


There's drinking at Sikh weddings?


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## Ambarsaria (Sep 2, 2012)

Rory said:


> There's drinking at Sikh weddings?


Rory there is drinking at the receptions for most weddings at a banquet or reception hall away from Gurdwaras.  There are very few which have no drinking, meats, etc., at a reception.

Sat Sri Akal.


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## Rory (Sep 2, 2012)

Thanks for the help Ambarsaria-ji. I thought intoxicants were generally prohibited (or at least strongly recommended against) in Sikhi, though?


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## Ambarsaria (Sep 2, 2012)

Rory thanks for your post





Rory said:


> Thanks for the help Ambarsaria-ji. I thought intoxicants were generally prohibited (or at least strongly recommended against) in Sikhi, though?


According to Sikh Reht Maryada (a framework for to be a Sikh and living accordingly) the following are strongest prohibitions,



> The undermentioned four transgressions (tabooed practices) must be avoided
> 1. Dishonouring the hair;
> 2. Eating the meat of an animal slaughtered the Muslim way;
> 3. Cohabiting with a person other than one's spouse;
> ...


Other meats, alcohol and such have been accepted by some people as simply making sense of as extensions to the above.  There are threads on Alcohol and Meat at spn if you want to search further.

Sat Sri Akal.


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## Kamala (Sep 3, 2012)

Akash ji, it will not offend anyone  The odd person gets surprised, but most become happy seeing the culture spreading.

Out of curiosity, what is your ethnicity?


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## Harkiran Kaur (Sep 3, 2012)

Kamala said:


> Akash ji, it will not offend anyone  The odd person gets surprised, but most become happy seeing the culture spreading.
> 
> Out of curiosity, what is your ethnicity?



Caucasian Canadian ....and about as pasty white as I could possibly be!  

However, I do have some Native North American in me and it shows in my face bone structure etc.  Plus I do have dark hair... I just can't tan!!! 

And yes, I agree nobody there has said anything bad to me... only good!  Everyone keeps telling me a look good in Punjabi Suits!  And while there, I feel more comfortable and like I blend in a bit more than if I was wearing western clothing. People around me sometimes do a double take before they notice I am a pasty white Canadian girl lol


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## Rory (Sep 3, 2012)

Akasha-ji you should be happy with your skin colour  This is coming from someone who is regularly being told to go to the doctor by people who think I must have anemia or an iron deficiency.. :grinningsingh:


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## Kamala (Sep 3, 2012)

Haha really Akash ji? You look Punjabi* in your display picture here on the site


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## Harkiran Kaur (Sep 3, 2012)

Kamala said:


> Haha really Akash ji? You look Punjabi* in your display picture here on the site



Kamala Ji... really??!!  The pic of me in the blue salwar kameez??


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