# Anger



## Arvind (Aug 5, 2004)

What is Gurmat about Anger in conversations?

During discussions, Anger could be in following situations:
1. I am wrong, but not willing to accept it due to whatever reason.
2. Other person is wrong, but I wish to act wise, so that the flames dont rise to roof together.
3. Both of us are wrong but still fighting due to our limited information about topic.

About me, well in any situation, I just take off my sight from the fighting object, and say 'Waheguru', and then look back to participate in talk (or fight) with calmness. And I take myself pretty unbiased one.

Please share your views.

Regards.


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## Admin (Aug 5, 2004)

Neutral stance is the best one, as there is so much to gain when you are neutral as you can discuss and read pros or cons of each subject and decide for yourself what is the most approprite perspective. 

Dear ThinkingOne Ji, your patience and calmness is reflected in your interesting posts... keep up the good work !! 

Chardi Kalaa


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## Arvind (Aug 5, 2004)

Ideal Singh ji,

Charhdee Kala ji 

Thanks for reply. About neutral stance, it comes to me - The sinner is of course bad, but the one who allows sin to take place, is worse. One need to be replied back, if continuously provoked. But then, there is danger of giving air to fire, which can just burn off everything! especially in delicate relations.

What does Gurmat say about - how to handle such situations?

Regards.


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## Gyani Jarnail Singh (Sep 26, 2004)

waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki afteh.


Gurbani says: Gussa mann na hahandayeh...that is Anger HARMS the Heart.
Physically and Spiritually...

It is a well accepted medical fact today that anger HURTS the heart badly...and can cause heart attacks. Any one who has had a heart attack is warned by his doctor to control his anger or he will get another attack and possibly die of it.
Guru Jis by their example showed nil anger at anyone even the enemy !! Visualise Guru Amardass ji sitting on His Throne holding Darbaar...in comes Dassu, the angry son of Guru angad and he KICKS Guru Amardass ji from Behind...Guru Ji immediately turns around, cathches hold of dassu ji's foot in his hands and begin to massage the foot saying: oh how much my old hard bones must have hurt this soft foot of yours. Please forgive me.  ( can we emulate this sort of "anger management" !!! in the Gurdwara car park if anyone even "stares" at us we get ready to smash his face in...and woe betide anyone who dares"touch" us or our precious car...then he will really get a good kicking.. )

Guur arjun Sahib jee sitting on the sizzling hot plate...says : Dosh na kahoon deyoonh.... I Blame no one...Tera bhaana meetha lageh..  Your WILL is sweet o Lord !!  We however no matter sitting in an airconditioned car on the highway get so angry at another drivewr who blocks us, cuts into our lane etc..and curse and swear !!! sitting in our cool airconditioned offices we curse and swear at the mistakes of our subordinates.... is this what guru ji taught us ??

Remember - an angry man is soon to be dead man.  Control your anger..Anger management is a science and it is practical.

jarnail singh


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## drkhalsa (Sep 27, 2004)

jarnail singh ji 
 your post have given great insipiration to me Believe me i have read about these great stories of our guru ji many times , and each time it just melts me from inside and i my eyes are justready to flow tears but also many times i become angry and after ward i fell ashamed of myself  May akal purakh giveme  enough strength  in trying to follow my gurus path. thank you for reminding me again of these stories


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## Arvind (Sep 27, 2004)

Now if something like this happens to me, I just say-
Dandaut bandan anik baar, sarab kala samrath,
dolan te rakho prabhu, nanak de kar hath.

And as Gyani ji mentioned - Tera bhaana meetah lagey

It works, and I am not surprised.

Regarsd.


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## etinder (Sep 28, 2004)

nice tips arvind veer
ill also try.........


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## Amarpal (Sep 29, 2004)

Dear Members,

I agree with Gyani Jarnail Singh Jee. 

Anger is a basic emotion; the response controlled by the part -amnigdala portion of our brain. It is a response before the feedback from frontal cortex is received by the system of the brain to correct and mellow down this emotional response 

My Anger is a measure which indicates to me my animality; it tells me how far I am from kindness and in a way, I am away from spirituality.

With Love and respect for all.

Amarpal


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## Arvind (Sep 29, 2004)

I came across one interesting viewpoint. 

One learned person said - One gets more angry, as they get more and more towards Him. Kaliyuga interferes with the spirituality, and tries to drain out the energy. In that case, it should be taken a measure of spirituality - More anger, more spirituality! And on the same note, due to one's spirituality, they are able to divert the destructive waves by anger into constructive one. Thank God, We get angry!!!

Regards.


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## Gyani Jarnail Singh (Oct 4, 2004)

Waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki fateh.


another thought came to mind as i was reading gurbani the other day.
it struck me that Guru Ji, Guur Arjun Sahib Jee maharaj is sitting on the Hot Plate...his sreer is burning and being cooked...but Guur Ji is Calm and Serene...saying Tera Bhaana Meetha Lageh....and More importantly Guru Ji is saying: DOSH NA KAHOON DEHON.... meaning I blame no one.  This ties in very nicely with Guru Ji's other gurbani where He says: Na ko Beri Nahin Begaana...I have No enemy and No  one is a stranger to me...

We must take notice of Guru Ji's example and stop BLAMING chandu, jehangir etc etc for Guru Arjun Sahib jee's Martyrdom.  IF that had not been Akal Purakh's WILL ( Tera Bhaana Meetha lageh)...then NO POWER on EARTH could have harmed even  a hair on Guru Ji's Head...and so its pointless to lay blame at mere humans like jahangir/chandu etc. They are just pawns in Waheguru's Game Plan...

just thinking aloud

jarnail singh


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## Tejwant Singh (Oct 4, 2004)

*What a tug of war??!!*

Kaam, Krodh, Lobh, Moh, Hankaar are the negative traits that a person is NOT born with but learns from the enviorment (society) in which he/she is brought up. If this were our animal side then all animals would have the same traits which they do not. Ofcourse some people do have chemical imbalance as far as anger is concerned but normally it a mechanism which is used as a defence and or as a way to oppress others.

Sikhi is based on mastering the five. Gurbani shows us different ways to overcome these. The best example of people who mastered these were our 10 Gurus, Bhai Mani Singh, Bhai Taru Singh and many more who gave thier lives for The Panth. 

The above shows that there's no magic pill like reading Dukhbhanji Sahib everyday would eliminate anger and suffering or with any other mechanical rituals we use in order to find a quick fix.

The negative traits that we possess always stay in us. But we can find tools through Gurbani to master them. It is like taking bath with cold water. The first couple of bowls that we throw on our body seem unbearable but later on  our body and mind get used to it. After the tug of war having been won, water does not get warm but our body with the help of mind is able to over power the negative. This is not a permanent fix as there is no magic pill.This happens everytime we take bath in cold water or we get angry.

In the same way suffering, Kaam, krodh, Lobh, Moh, Hankaar can not be eliminated but through GURBANI can be tackled with.This tug of war will continue till our last breath. And only through Gurmat, we will end up winning a lot more then we will lose.

Tejwant


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