# So Why Call Her Bad? From Her, Kings Are Born!



## Archived_Member16 (May 27, 2008)

*Although I often have struggled with my cultural identity in this patchwork nation of Canada, I have always retained a sense of pride and devotion to my religion, Sikhism. The Sikh community's integral contribution to Canadian society in business, politics and philanthropy has helped me to maintain this unbroken connection. 
* 
As an ardent feminist as well, I have always been especially proud of the fact that Sikhism, a religion born in patriarchal 15th-century India, holds gender equality as one of its core tenets and explicitly advocates respect for women as equals. 

But my pride in my religion has not been an unwavering one, especially when actions in the community are completely antithetical to what the religion advocates, and what I believe in as a person.

One of these is the seriousness of physical and emotional abuse of women in the Punjabi-Sikh community, and the accompanying complacency surrounding the topic in the community at large. 

The Punjabi Community Health Centre (PCHC), an advocacy group based in Peel Region, has called violence against women "the most silent kept secret within the Sikh community" and described the role of the Sikh community in confronting the problem and aiding abused women as "pathetic."

With a religion whose holy scriptures written more than 500 years ago explicitly challenged the inferiority of women and whose founders elevated and emphasized women's social status to that of equals, why then, in a research study conducted by the PCHC, is wife abuse in the Sikh community considered a serious problem by 75 per cent of the Sikhs surveyed?

Wally Oppal, British Columbia's attorney-general and a Sikh, has even called domestic violence a "cancer" in the community. His comments were made after a string of Sikh women were murdered, allegedly by their husbands, in the Vancouver area in 2007. After such blunt claims, Oppal was accused by some in the community as being a traitor to his ethnicity and culture.

On top of this troubling accusation of "treachery" and the obvious denial within the community, the harrowing possibility exists that gender-based oppression is not just limited to women in intimate partner relationships, but to unborn Sikh daughters as well. 

While the nationwide average according to Statistics Canada is 105 male births to every 100 female births, a 2003 study by the Institute of Marriage and Family Canada found that in Surrey, B.C. – populated heavily by Sikh Canadian families – there were 109 boys to every 100 girls.

There is no conclusive public data that would prove these numbers were the result of sex-selective abortions. However, the statistics are deeply troubling in light of allegations last year that several Punjabi Canadian newspapers (including a Mississauga-based one) were carrying advertisements by ultrasound clinics promoting female foeticide. The allegations, made by the head of a B.C.-based immigrant society, were countered by one of the ultrasound clinics that claimed there was no proof regarding how couples were using ultrasound data. 

The gap between the gender equality explicitly called for in Sikhism and its practice is deeply disturbing, though in some ways, not surprising. Indeed, other religions also have been labelled as racist or sexist when in reality only a chosen few engage in these behaviours and there is absolutely nothing within the faith that promotes or supports such attitudes or actions. 

Regardless of whether violence against women in the Sikh community is the result of a deeply rooted chauvinism in Punjabi culture or other reasons, what is more disconcerting is the complacency of Sikhs in terms of understanding and tackling the issue. 

By publicly acknowledging what now are regarded as individual or private matters, by engaging Sikh men and challenging the still very male-dominated atmosphere of Sikh temples by including more women in leadership roles, a sense of community consciousness can emerge that will not tolerate the physical and emotional abuse of Sikh women. 

In the more than 100 years since Sikhs first immigrated to Canada, they have proven to be a resourceful, dynamic and engaged religious community that has tackled issues of external prejudice and religious rights in Canada. 

However, the same level of will and leadership must be shown to end one of the most serious yet least acknowledged problems within the Sikh community.



Jasmeet Sidhu is a university student.


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## spnadmin (May 27, 2008)

*re: Silent Crisis Within a Community*

I humbly submit that shame not be placed on one's religion. Sometimes it is impossible to separate the "practice" of religion from community and culture. So many gurdwaras were built once a critical mass of Sikh-Punjabi immigrants was formed. Therefore, many gurdwaras identify with Punjab roots. But let me say one more thing. Violence against women occurs in almost every religion and culture and community. The abuse of women is not a shame for "Punjabis" either.  Violence against women happens one incident at a time. There is one victim and one perpertator at a time. And deep down inside individuals who abuse others know they are wrong -- here, in the Punjab, in Sikhism, in other religions and communities. Guilt for the abuse falls on the individual. Guilt for the silence falls on the community.

More information

*World Health Organization - Multi-country Study on Women's Health and Domestic Violence against Women*


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## pk70 (May 27, 2008)

*re: Silent Crisis Within a Community*

Quote "I humbly submit that shame not be placed on one's religion. Sometimes it is impossible to separate the "practice" of religion from community and culture."

*Strong and precise statement about the truth that is most time misunderstood. It comes down to hypocrisy of so called Sikhs, as said by aad0002 ji, it is the culture they adore more than Sikhism. Treatment of women, caste system, dowry greed, a few to state, are evil like cultural ego feed, well openly practiced by Sikh hypocrites in Punjab and abroad as well. Regardless what they claim, they are no where close to Guru message and, they dont care about Guru message either so to speak. Shame is on those who practice it, then claim to be Sikhs. Bogus remains bogus.*


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## Gyani Jarnail Singh (May 29, 2008)

*re: Silent Crisis Within a Community*

Blaming..."Klayug"..etc is also merely shifting blame.
There is a Shabad in the SGGS by Sri Guru nanak Ji...clearly explaining this blame game.
First a little background.
The story is that Guru nanak ji and Bhai mardaana Ji on their travels came to a Holy City where celebrations in honour of Bhagwaan Krishan were in progress......and some people ( Pandits)  were doing soemthing shameful ( Surprised ??)..and the common talk going around was... ITS KALYUG...so what else do we expect ??? blah blah blah.
Guru Ji then uchaared this shabad.... The Stars are the Very SAME ( as in SATYUG and other supposedly GOOD YUGS !!)..the SUN is the same..the earth is the SAME.... NOTHING has changed.
Its the MAN...doing the EVIL DEED this is to be BLAMED...not the Sun, the stars, the earth, the heavens..the time..or the Kalyug ??
A Bad workman always blames his tools..NEVER his own bad workmanship/lack of hardwork/abilities...
Similarly we are so quick to jump on..OH Its KALYUG..Ghor kalyug hai..so naturally.....fathers rape daughters...priests rape schoolgirls...granddads rape children..priests rape small boys..nuns rape boys..blah blah blah....and granthis steal golucks..sgpc jathedars steal gurdwara langgar funds and rations..its all due to the Bad bad..KALYUG..what a MONSTER..oh what a releif if SATYUG were here..suddenly all will be crime free..peace on earth..baloney...BS big time. Its MAN that does evil due to his own actions..no matter he is in a GURDWARA among the  " holy saints " or in PRISON among rapists and murderers !!! The same SUN shines on the Gurdwara as well as the maximum security prison.
GURBANI is all time TRUTH and very clear...no beating around the bush...blame games...
Gyani Jarnail Singh


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## spnadmin (Dec 26, 2008)

*Re: Silent Crisis Within a Community*

[FONT=verdana,arial,helvetica,sans-serif]_Fam Physician_
Vol.          54, No. 12, December          2008,           pp.1722          -            1725                        
Copyright © 2008 by The College of Family Physicians of Canada
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* Burdened whispers*

* Amritpal Singh Arora, MD CCFP *
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  In the past few years, there have been numerous high-profile cases of domestic violence in the South Asian community of British Columbia. These cases have led to an increased focus on an oft-neglected subject. Research in this area, although scarce, has shown a complex interplay between patriarchy, cultural expectations, and a desire for autonomy. 

  As a part of my residency in family medicine, I decided to explore the effects of domestic abuse on South Asian women in British Columbia. The intent of this exploration was to develop a better understanding of their experiences, coping strategies, and possible barriers to seeking support. Eleven South Asian women who identified themselves as victims of domestic abuse were interviewed in a combination of one-to-one and group interviews. Circumstances around the abuse, their methods of coping, and the effects it has had on their lives were discussed. They were also asked about the support available to them and possible barriers they faced in accessing this support. 

  Common themes from the interviews were analyzed and used as inspiration to produce a work of fiction. I hope that this piece will provide family physicians with insight into the unique struggles faced by South Asian victims of abuse and serve as an impetus to identifying and supporting women at risk. 
  I would like to extend my sincere gratitude to the women who participated in this study. Their immeasurable courage and strength made such work possible. 

*Burdened whispers*
  Simran’s head is heavy, like she is 5 again, wearing Papa Ji’s starched blue turban; the first and last wraps form a perfect point resting on the bridge of her nose. She sits by her son, Karan, who sleeps to her left, his lips dry from allergies that have rendered him a mouth breather. Simran’s hand continues to move up and down her son’s back slowly, even though he has been asleep for hours. Each stroke slow and deliberate like that of a painter putting the final touches on her greatest work. She reaches with her free hand to untie Karan’s _patka_. She begins by unravelling the head covering’s strings from his top knot and then untying the knot at the back of his head. She removes his _patka_ and softly rubs his forehead along a line defining the _patka’s_ end seam, tanned skin below, smooth and milky white above. The line, like her life she thinks, varies greatly with the season. At times it is sharp and clearly in focus. At times it is blurred, barely distinguishable from its surroundings. 

  The pain from the beating begins to subside. The sounds of Mohan’s snoring filter in from the adjoining room and throw salt on Simran’s wounds. He sleeps peacefully. She will not share his bed tonight, nor will she tomorrow. He will ignore her, carry on not as if she had never existed but as if he had suppressed her like an unpleasant thought brewing in the deep recesses of one’s mind. By the third night, guilt will compel her to return to him. She will adjust to fit his curves, put her hand on his shoulder and whisper apologies in his ear. He will acknowledge them with a pat on her head, roll over to his side and fall asleep. Such is the game they play, she thinks as she rubs the bruises on her forearm. 

  Simran looks to her son, his thin chest rising and falling with every breath. One leg protrudes from underneath his covers, his body not fully convinced of the departure of fall, the beginning of winter. "What began with your conception," Simran whispers, "did not end with your birth." She thinks back to the pregnancy and the first time Mohan beat her. It was 4 months into their marriage, 2 months into the pregnancy. Nausea had prevented Simran from having a hot meal ready on Mohan’s arrival from work. He beat her with his belt, then with his shoe. She remembers being on her knees and against a wall, covering her belly with her hands, accepting blows on her face so as to protect the child that grew inside her. She remembers the apologies that followed and their convincing sincerity. Most of all, she remembers the feeling of guilt that plagued her: she did not have dinner ready in time. If one looks closely, one can still see the scars from that beating. They serve as small, measurable reminders that greet her every morning. What one cannot see, however, are the far larger scars Simran carries within her. They stem from more penetrating wounds, such as having to beg for rides to prenatal appointments, giving birth without a hand to hold, and the realization of continued beatings despite producing a son. 

  A thick fog declares itself as it moves in from the Pacific and blankets Vancouver. Moonlight navigates through and shines tepidly in Karan’s open window. A slight breeze drifts in and dilutes the stale air. Simran closes her eyes and travels inward, wading through her own fog as she escapes to a place of solitude. She journeys to that temple within her, seeking shelter from the harsh realities of her life. Here, there are no prospects of midnight beatings, no need for sunglasses when there is no sun. There are no monitored phone calls and finances, no mixture of sweat and cheap cologne assailing her nostrils. This sanctuary, whose foundations were laid before Simran’s wedding henna had faded, is far from public humiliation and the silent tension that follows. She does not have to worry about walking 2 steps behind Mohan when she is here. 

  Yet her escape is often fleeting. Long enough to perhaps catch a glimpse of Papa Ji reading the paper with his cloth _thata_ tied so that his beard remains in shape. Smells of Mata Ji’s _mesi parathay_ may drift into her room and whisper for her to wake up. She may hear the night _chaunkidar’s_ stick scrape across the concrete as she lies with Mata Ji on the terrace to take advantage of a slight summer’s breeze. On the rare occasion, she can get away long enough to allow a conversation. She may be able to squeeze in a hymn at the Golden Temple or even enjoy a plate of Blue Fox’s famous chilli chicken. 

  Tonight her mind is in Dharamsala, and she remembers skipping down Temple Road with her new pashmina-type shawl on her shoulders. Papa Ji and Mata Ji walk behind her, cautioning her to slow down, worried about her tripping and ruining her _salvar kameez_. The aroma of steamed _momos_ fills the air. Tibetan women sit roadside selling jewelry to free-spirited Europeans who have come for the cheap drugs, to find themselves, or a bit of both. Monks in their maroon robes chat as they sip butter tea at roadside cafes. Tibetan elders out for their morning walk greet Simran with toothless smiles, folded hands, and an enthusiastic "_Tashi Dele._" 

  Simran yearns to be there again with her parents. She imagines Papa Ji lifting her so she may spin a Tibetan prayer wheel. She hears Mata Ji recite "_Waheguru_" as she spins each wheel, combining the blessings of both Buddha and Nanak. She tastes the _laichee_ in the chai from the self-proclaimed "best tea stall in Asia" on Jogibara Road. She laughs as Papa Ji strokes his mustache after each sip. Most of all she remembers a sense of contentment, the ability to breathe freely without the heaviness in her chest. 

  Sounds of Karan stirring bring Simran back. The night has grown much colder. Simran moves to close the window. She adjusts the blanket to cover Karan’s outstretched leg and smiles at how his top knot has loosened and now lies limp and off centre. She gets a second blanket from his closet, rolls up a towel from his bathroom for a pillow and settles in beside Karan, moving carefully so as not to wake him. She closes her eyes, knowing full well that she will not sleep. She closes her eyes but the mental images do not stop. Her mind is restless, and her thoughts travel from the mountains of Himachal to the fields of Punjab. Images of her wedding day begin to traverse her mental screen ... 

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  She sits cross-legged on the floor of the _Gurudwara_. Extravagant patterns of henna cover her hands and feet. Her heavily embroidered red _duppatta_ is pinned so as to keep her hair covered. _Panjeban_ delicately caress her ankles and match the numerous bracelets that cover her forearms. Large gold earrings hang carefree from her ears, almost brushing her shoulders. Mohan sits to her right, dressed in a cream-coloured _kurta_ with a Chinese collar and _resham_ embroidery. Close friends and family sit in quiet anticipation and watch as Papa Ji takes one end of the cloth hanging from Mohan’s shoulders and moves to place it in Simran’s hands. In doing so, he prepares to absolve himself of his responsibilities and place Simran’s well-being on Mohan’s undeserving shoulders. To mark this transfer, the _Ragis_, musicians with matching turbans and long flowing beards, sit on a stage and sing the appropriate hymn:I have discarded praise and slander, O Nanak; I have abandoned everything. I have seen that all relationships are false, and so I have grasped hold of the hem of your robe, Lord.​Simran takes the end of the cloth from Papa Ji and lowers her eyes ... 
  As she thinks back to that day, she recalls the happiness in Papa Ji’s eyes. His eldest daughter was moving to Canada and marrying a successful man from a reputable family. "A father could ask for nothing else," he would repeat as he greeted well-wishers. The burden of having 3 daughters had clearly aged Papa Ji beyond his years. Three daughters meant 3 characters to keep pure, 3 sets of in-laws to please, and 3 dowries to assemble. Papa Ji carried this burden with his head high, Simran proudly remembers. He acquiesced to all of Mohan’s parents’ demands and went out of his way to please their guests; all in order to maintain the family’s _izzat_. Now, so much of that family honour rests with Simran and the life she builds in Canada. Simran, acutely aware of this fact, has kept her problems with Mohan from her parents. She has had thoughts of confiding in them, hoping they may intervene, but she cannot bring herself to inflict such disappointment on them. What can they possibly do? They are not going to change his behaviour from thousands of miles away. No, Simran knows that if anything, they will ask her to change her behaviour. They will encourage her to anticipate his needs, adapt to his moods. They will warn her not to trigger his anger. "A man’s blood can boil," she can hear Mata Ji saying. "A woman must cool it with her patience, obedience, and the softness of her touch." 

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  Above all, they will implore her for her silence. If the community back home ever got wind of her situation, her family’s _izzat_ would suffer greatly. Women sitting on woven beds sifting through uncooked lentils would speculate on her virtue. Cleaning women would pass stories from house to house, taking great delight in educating the housewives on the latest gossip. Men, tending to their fields, would openly cast doubt on the marriageability of Simran’s younger sisters. Vendors at the local _sabji mandi_ would quietly whisper among themselves as Papa Ji shopped for fresh vegetables. Sharma Ji would warn of the dangers of allowing girls too much education and freedom as his customers purchased glucose biscuits at his general goods shop. For all these reasons, Simran will have to suffer in silence. She cannot bear the thought of Papa Ji, overcome with shame, lowering his eyes when addressing the other villagers. She cannot imagine ruining the lives of her younger sisters, Manjit and Raman. No one in the community will marry them if their family _izzat_ is not maintained. Papa Ji will be forced to seek matches from different villages, arrange for larger dowries, and hope that stories of his eldest daughter don’t reach the ears of potential in-laws. 
  Like the hands of a Kathak dancer in her standing _thaat_ pose while narrating tales of Krishna-Leela, the hands of the clock strike 3; the constant ticking of the second hand provides Simran some respite from the night’s deafening silence. Her headache continues. She gets out of bed, reaches for her purse at the bedside, and walks toward Karan’s bathroom. His Transformers night light provides enough illumination for her to navigate his collection of toys, colouring books, and half-completed puzzles. In his bathroom, she turns on the light and looks in the mirror. Dark bags underneath her eyes weigh down their already pained expression. Strands of white mingle with her co{censored} and thinning black hair like unwelcome guests at a funeral. A look around the neck of her _kameez_ reveals that Mohan’s hands have left their mark. She reaches into her purse and pulls out an assortment of medicine bottles. Some are for her sleep, others for her pain, and some to help with her mood. According to her family doctor, Dr Roberts,she has insomnia, chronic pain, and depression. "A chemical imbalance" Simran recalls Dr Roberts saying as he handed her the latest prescription. He is like the _medicine-walla_ that used to come to our village, Simran thinks; listening to your story briefly and offering the latest magic potion. "Bhenji, drink this and it will help all tension-vension, all aches and pains, money-back guarantee," he would say. 

  Simran has never been entirely comfortable with Dr Roberts. He is a slight, unimposing man with a predilection for print ties and wing-tipped shoes. When talking to her, he rubs his eyes and temples, making Simran wonder why his own doctor hasn’t offered him any pills. He is always running late, and Simran has often waited an hour to see him for 10 minutes. Chronic headaches and trouble with sleep have plagued Simran for years. Dr Roberts always seems to have a new answer: an increase in dose, a trial of new medicine, a sample in his cupboard. What frustrates Simran is that he doesn’t ask the right questions. Why does her head constantly hurt? What causes her to lie awake for hours? Why does she have no desire to attend _Gurudwara_ on Sunday or no energy to fix Karan’s school lunch? She feels Dr Roberts has been handing her bandages without inspecting her wounds; quick fixes that are amenable to a 10-minute appointment and sufficient until the next visit. 

  Simran once summoned the courage to discuss her marital problems with Dr Roberts. It was when Karan was about 1 year old; she had taken him in for his scheduled immunizations. Dr Roberts noticed and inquired about a bruise on Simran’s face. She alluded to her problems with Mohan hoping he would be able to provide some advice. She thought that maybe he would tell her what to say to Mohan to make him stop or that he might reassure her, tell her that Mohan would change and that she needed to be patient. Perhaps he would send her to talk to someone who could give her some ideas on how to be better, how to keep Mohan happy. What she had not been prepared for, however, was Dr Roberts’ suggestion: divorce. Simran remembers the chill that came over her body upon hearing this. Was he joking? Did he not realize the absurdity of his suggestion? She could never bring such shame upon her family. 

Leaving Mohan would ruin Mata Ji and Papa Ji. How would they ever overcome such a burden? What would they tell potential suitors for her sisters? They would be the talk of the village; she could not do that to them. What of Karan? A boy needs his father. He would blame Simran his whole life for taking his father away. She could not care for him alone. She could not provide for the both of them with no skills and a limited grasp of English. The government would certainly take Karan away and give him to Mohan. How could she live without him—her very breath, her reason for being, and the one source of joy in her life? Didn’t Dr Roberts understand that divorce is not an option for an Indian woman? No man would marry her; she would be forced to spend the rest of her life alone and in shame. 

  Simran cowers as she thinks of the possibility of being alone. She swallows a sleeping pill and returns to Karan’s room. She stands at the foot of the bed and watches her son. He sleeps in peace, unaware the woman in front of him is but a mere shadow of her former self. He has kicked off most of his covers and the moonlight shines off his _Kara_, a metal bracelet on his right arm symbolizing the infiniteness of the Divine. She lifts his blanket off the floor and places it over him gently. Simran sits by his head and strokes her fingers through his long, uncut hair. "To suffer is my karma, son," she whispers. "I will not let it be yours." She settles in beside her son, closes her eyes, and waits for sleep to come. 


*Footnotes*
*Competing interests:* None declared 
   Details of the research study can be obtained by contacting *Dr Arora*: PO Box 59026, 5962 Sperling Ave, Burnaby, BC V5E 0A3; e-mailamritpalsarora@gmail.com


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## spnadmin (Jul 18, 2009)

*Sikh Philosophy Network invites its members, sisters and brothers, to read and discuss these articles in support of sisters everywhere, and against the violence of honor killings anywhere. 
* 
*ਆਵਹੁ ਭੈਣੇ ਗਲਿ ਮਿਲਹ ਅੰਕਿ ਸਹੇਲੜੀਆਹ ॥ 
aavahu bhainae gal mileh ank sehaelarreeaah ||
Come, my dear sisters and spiritual companions; hug me close in your embrace. SriRaag, Ang 17 (Guru Nanak)*


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## spnadmin (Jul 18, 2009)

_By Khaled Diab for guardian.co.uk, Sunday 3 May 2009 15.00 BST_

Though relatively rare, killing a family member in the name of honour should be a cause for shame, not pride, as it reflects a cowardly compliance with inhumane norms.

Killing someone, especially a family member, is something I cannot begin to contemplate. Of course, I realise that it is a sad fact of life that some of the worst physical, sexual and psychological abuses – and even murders – are perpetrated by relatives.

In some ways, it is more horrifying and tragic when abuses are committed not to satisfy some base motives but for the apparently exalted ideal of "honour". Each year, thousands die around the world – from the Middle East to the Indian subcontinent, and from Latin America to China – in the name of family honour. The victims of these crimes are mostly women.

Rana Husseini – a courageous and outspoken Jordanian journalist who has dedicated most of her career to campaigning against this warped cultural practice – will publish a book on the subject at the end of May.

Murder in the Name of Honour (pdf) continues Husseini's groundbreaking efforts to break the silence on this disgraceful crime. The book shines a human light on some of the victims of honour killings, exploring their lives, circumstances and deaths – an epitaph to women whose families and communities would rather forget.

The first case Husseini investigated, back in 1994, was that of Kifaya, a young woman from a very traditional family in a conservative neighbourhood of Amman, who became pregnant after being raped by one of her brothers, Muhammad.

Instead of understanding and sympathy from her family, the poor young woman who had been violated by her own kin was forced to marry a man 34 years her senior to cover up the scandal. When the marriage ended in divorce six months later, the perceived shame led the family to decide that Kifaya had to die, and her other brother, Khalid, was forced to carry out the ugly deed.

Although most honour killings are ordered by men and carried out by men, Kifaya's father, who worked abroad to provide for his family, had no idea of the plot co-hatched by her mother, and the news of her death devastated him. "I would never have allowed anyone to kill my daughter, no matter what," he confessed to Husseini.

The fact that Kifaya was a victim twice over – once for being blamed for her rape and then being murdered for dishonoring the family – is not unusual in the grizzly annals of this type of crime, where a woman's virginity is worth more than her life. In fact, there are women in the most conservative circles who have paid with their lives for the malicious gossip of others.
Husseini points out that only a small number of men are murdered in the name of honour, despite the fact that they played a major role in the supposed dishonour. Indeed, men – even rapists – do get off lightly in this type of sex-related honour crimes. But her assertion overlooks the fact that there is a whole other world of honour that overwhelmingly claims men as its victims: the vendetta – think Romeo and Juliet or mafia films but in real life.
One place where this dated practice, known locally as "el-tar", still continues, despite decades of efforts to wipe it out, is Egypt's stronghold of conservatism and tough traditions, al-Said (or Upper Egypt). Highly codified and ritualized, some of these feuds can last for generations, perpetuated by a stubborn belief in "el-tar walla el-aar" ("revenge is better than disgrace").
It's not just the fact that someone can muster up the ability to murder a loved one that disturbs, it is also the cruel manner and abandon some people bring to the task. One father hired two thugs to rape his daughter for two hours – as punishment for shaming him – before killing her. To my mind, there is no way a father like that can be anything but completely diseased in the head.

The crime can also be cruel on the chosen executioner. Families often choose one of the younger men – often a minor – to carry out the crime because he will probably get off with a lighter sentence, although the powerless youngster is condemned to a lifetime of trauma and often regret. "I know that killing my sister is against Islam and it angered God," said Sarhan, a young honour-killer Husseini visited in prison. "She was close to me, she was the one who resembled me the most," he said. "I alone cannot change or fix things in my society. My whole society has to change."
And change is coming gradually. Thanks to the efforts of Husseini – who has endured slander, unpopularity and even death threats – and other activists and campaigners, the issue has become a very public one in Jordan, and concern about it has grown in other countries, particularly Pakistan.
This breaking of the taboo has incensed many, not because they approve of the crimes but because of the shame and embarrassment it brings upon their societies. At one level, this is understandable: although honour killings are pretty isolated occurrences, many in the outside world have the warped idea that most Arab and Muslim men are bloodthirsty women-bashers. However, sweeping the issue under the carpet is not an option, and it must be dealt with.
Source:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=25910 (So why call her bad? From her, kings are born!)

Although Jordanian campaigners have so far failed to change the law that enables honour murderers to get off lightly, the struggle is as much about changing cultural perceptions and attitudes as it is about legislation. Public and judicial tolerance of these crimes is wearing thin as the silent majority begin to raise their objections to these barbaric acts. "The protection of every woman's life should be a key issue for the government and community alike," emphasizes Husseini. "Real honour is about tolerance, equality and civil responsibility."​


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## spnadmin (Jul 18, 2009)

*Summary*

"Honour" killings of women can be defined as acts of murder in which "a woman is killed for her actual or perceived immoral behavior." (Yasmeen Hassan, "The Fate of Pakistani Women," International Herald Tribune, May 25, 1999.) Such "immoral behavior" may take the form of marital infidelity, refusing to submit to an arranged marriage, demanding a divorce, flirting with or receiving phone calls from men, failing to serve a meal on time, or -- grotesquely -- "allowing herself" to be raped. In the Turkish province of Sanliurfa, one young woman's "throat was slit in the town square because a love ballad was dedicated to her over the radio." (Pelin Turgut, "'Honour' Killings Still Plague Turkish Province," The Toronto Star, May 14, 1998.)
Source:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=25910 (So why call her bad? From her, kings are born!)

Most "honour" killings of women occur in Muslim countries, the focus of this case study; but it is worth noting that no sanction for such murders is granted in Islamic religion or law. And the phenomenon is in any case a global one. According to Stephanie Nebehay, such killings "have been reported in Bangladesh, Britain, Brazil, Ecuador, Egypt, India, Israel, Italy, Jordan, Pakistan, Morocco, Sweden, Turkey and Uganda." Afghanistan, where the practice is condoned under the rule of the fundamentalist Taliban movement, can be added to the list, along with Iraq and Iran. (Nebehay, "'Honor Killings' of Women Said on Rise Worldwide," Reuters dispatch, April 7, 2000.)

Pakistan, where "honour" killings are known as karo-kari, is probably the country where such atrocities are most pervasive. Estimating the scale of the phenomenon there, as elsewhere, is made more difficult not only by the problems of data collection in predominantly rural countries, but by the extent to which community members and political authorities collaborate in covering up the atrocities. According to Yasmeen Hassan, author of The Haven Becomes Hell: A Study of Domestic Violence in Pakistan, "The concepts of women as property and honor are so deeply entrenched in the social, political and economic fabric of Pakistan that the government, for the most part, ignores the daily occurrences of women being killed and maimed by their families." (Hassan, "The Fate of Pakistani Women.") Frequently, women murdered in "honour" killings are recorded as having committed suicide or died in accidents.

One of the most notorious "honour" killings of recent years occurred in April 1999, when Samia Imran, a young married woman, "was shot in the office of a lawyer helping her to seek a divorce which her family could never countenance." According to Suzanne Goldenberg,

Samia, 28, arrived at the Lahore law offices of Hina Jilani and Asma Jahangir, who are sisters, on April 6. She had engaged Jilani a few days earlier, because she wanted a divorce from her violent husband. Samia settled on a chair across the desk from the lawyer. Sultana, Samia's mother, entered five minutes later with a male companion. Samia half-rose in greeting. The man, Habib-ur-Rhemna, grabbed Samia and put a pistol to her head. The first bullet entered near Samia's eye and she fell. "There was no scream. There was dead silence. I don't even think she knew what was happening," Jilani said. The killer stood over Samia's body, and fired again. Jilani reached for the alarm button as the gunman and Sultana left. "She never even bothered to look whether the girl was dead."

The aftermath of the murder was equally revealing: "Members of Pakistan's upper house demanded punishment for the two women [lawyers] and none of Pakistan's political leaders condemned the attack. ... The clergy in Peshawar want the lawyers to be put to death" for trying to help Imran. (Suzanne Goldenberg, "A Question of Honor," The Guardian (UK), May 27, 1999.)

Hina Jilani, Pakistani campaigner against 'honour' killing.According to Goldenberg, "Those who kill for honour [in Pakistan] are almost never punished. In the rare instances [that] cases reach the courts, the killers are sentenced to just two or three years. Hana Jilani [the Jahore lawyer who witnessed Samia Imran's murder] has collected 150 case studies and in only eight did the judges reject the argument that the women were killed for honour. All the other [perpetrators] were let off, or given reduced sentences." (Goldenberg, "A Question of Honour.")
Source:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=25910 (So why call her bad? From her, kings are born!)

A human-rights report published in March 1999 stated that "honour" killings took the lives of 888 women in the single province of Punjab in 1998 (Hassan, "The Fate of Pakistani Women"). Similar figures were recorded for 1999. In Sindh province, some 300 women died in 1997, according to Pakistan's independent Human Rights Commission. (Goldenberg, "A Question of Honour.") It is unknown how many women are maimed or disfigured for life in attacks that fall short of murder. Pamela Constable describes one such case:

Zahida Perveen's head is shrouded in a white cotton veil, which she self-consciously tightens every few moments. But when she reaches down to her baby daughter, the veil falls away to reveal the face of one of Pakistan's most horrific social ills, broadly known as "honour" crimes. Perveen's eyes are empty sockets of unseeing flesh, her earlobes have been sliced off, and her nose is a gaping, reddened stump of bone. Sixteen months ago, her husband, in a fit of rage over her alleged affair with a brother-in-law, bound her hands and feet and slashed her with a razor and knife. She was three months pregnant at the time. "He came home from the mosque and accused me of having a bad character," the tiny, 32-year-old woman murmured as she awaited a court hearing ... "I told him it was not true, but he didn't believe me. He caught me and tied me up, and then he started cutting my face. He never said a word except, "This is your last night." (Constable, "The Price of 'Honour'," The Gazette (Montreal), May 22, 2000.)

Bangladeshi women scarred in acid attacks.Perveen's husband stated in court that "What I did was wrong, but I am satisfied. I did it for my honour and prestige." Often burning or scarring with acid are the preferred weapons of the men committing such crimes. "The Progressive Women's Association, which assists attack victims, tracked 3,560 women who were hospitalized after being attacked at home with fire, gasoline or acid between 1994 and 1999," according to Constable. About half the victims died. Lawyer and women's activist Nahida Mahbooba Elahi states that "We deal with these cases every day, but I have seen very few convictions. The men say the wife didn't obey their orders, or was having relations with someone else. The police often say it is a domestic matter and refuse to pursue the case. Some judges even justify it and do not consider it murder." (Constable, "The Price of 'Honour.'") Such crimes are also rife in Bangladesh, formerly East Pakistan, where some 2,200 women are disfigured every year in acid attacks by jealous or estranged men. (Ellen Goodman, "How Long Before We Take the Honor out of Killing?," The Washington Post [in the Guardian Weekly, April 6-12, 2000.)

In August 1999, an international furore erupted when the Pakistani Senate rejected a resolution by former Prime Minister Benazhir Butto to condemn "honour" killings in the country. (See Zaffer Abbas, "Pakistan Fails to Condemn 'Honour' Killings", BBC Online, August 3, 1999.) In April 2000, the head of the Pakistani military regime, General Pervez Musharraf, pledged that his government would take strong measures to curb "honour" killings. "Such acts do not find a place in our religion or law," Musharraf stated. "Killing in the name of honour is murder, and it will be treated as such." Most observers were skeptical, however, that Musharraf's words would be followed up by committed actions. (See "Honour Killings Now Seen As Murder", The Sydney Morning Herald [from The Telegraph (UK)], April 24, 2000.)

While the victims of Pakistani "honour" killings are overwhelmingly female, tradition dictates that males involved in the "crimes" should face death as well. But the accused women are standardly killed first, giving men a chance to flee retribution. Moreover, targeted men can escape death by paying compensation to the family of the female victim, leading to an "'honour killing industry' involving tribespeople, police and tribal mediators," which "provides many opportunities to make money, [or] obtain a woman in compensation," according to Amnesty International. The organization also states: "Reports abound about men who have killed other men in murders not connected with honour issues who then kill a woman of their own family ... to camouflage the initial murder as an honour killing." (Amnesty International, "Pakistan: Honour Killings of Girls and Women", September 1999.)

[Note: For more information on "honour" killings in Pakistan, contact the International Network for the Rights of Female Victims in Pakistan, P.O. Box 17202, Louisville, KY 40217, USA; e-mail: inrfvvp@inrfvvp.org.]

In Jordan, "honour" killings are sanctioned by law. According to Article 340 of the criminal code, "A husband or a close blood relative who kills a woman caught in a situation highly suspicious of adultery will be totally exempt from sentence." Article 98, meanwhile, guarantees a lighter sentence for male killers of female relatives who have committed an "act which is illicit in the eyes of the perpetrator." Julian Borger notes that "in practice, once a murder has been judged an 'honour killing,' the usual sentence is from three months to one year." (Julian Borger, "In Cold Blood," Manchester Guardian Weekly, November 16, 1997. See also "Four Men Sentenced to Year or Less for Brutal Jordan Honour Killings," Agence France-Presse dispatch, July 31, 1999; the perpetrators included a 19-year-old man, Hussein Suleiman, who "was accused of driving three times over his six-month-pregnant unmarried sister in a pick-up truck, despite her denials of immoral behaviour and pleas for help.") Ironically, as Borger notes, this legislation is "the result of Western influence in the Middle East," having arisen "out of a fusion between Egyptian tribal custom and the Napoleonic Code in 1810, after the French legions took Cairo." (Borger, "In Cold Blood.")

In a particularly tragic case in 1994, a handicapped 18-year-old girl, who had already served six months in jail (!) for becoming pregnant out of wedlock, was killed by her 17-year-old brother. A neighbour was quoted as saying the family "seemed relaxed, happy and satisfied after announcing the news that she was killed ..." (Rana Husseini, "18-year-old killed for 'family honor,'" The Jordan Times, September 19, 1994.) Manchester Guardian Weekly reporter Julian Borger described another typical case in 1997:

One morning this summer, Rania Arafat's two aunts came to take her for a walk. They told their 21-year-old niece they had arranged a secret meeting with her boyfriend. She strolled with them through Gwiesmeh, a poor suburb where Amman's concrete sprawl peters out into desert. When the three women reached a patch of open land, the aunts suddenly stepped aside, leaving Arafat standing alone. She was shot four times in the back of the head at close range and once in the forehead. The gunman was her 17-year-old brother, Rami. ... Arafat's crime was to refuse an arranged marriage and elope with her Iraqi boyfriend. Rami is in jail, but is unlikely to be sentenced to more than a few months, especially as he is a minor, which is almost certainly why he was given the role of executioner. (Borger, "In Cold Blood.")

Journalist Rana Husseini The Jordan Times estimated in 1994 that between 28 and 60 Jordanian women -- the difference between official police figures and commonly-cited estimates of the actual number -- die in "honour" killings every year (Rana Husseini, "Murder in the Name of Honour," October 6-7, 1994.) The death-toll may even run into the hundreds, with hundreds more women in perpetual hiding, fearful for their lives.

One positive sign is the staunch opposition to the practice displayed by the regime of King Abdullah II, who took power after the death of his father King Hussein in 1999. "The king has backed legislation to put honor killings on a par with other murders and has encouraged public support to change the law. ... The fact that the royal palace has taken such a stance has translated into tougher sentencing and investigations of honor killings by the courts and police. The king's support has also encouraged activist groups to speak out more strongly against honor killings." (Stephen Franklin, "Jordan Begins to Punish Practice of 'Honor Killings'", The Chicago Tribune, September 1, 2000.)

Such efforts continue to encounter staunch resistance from conservative elements, however. In early February 2000, the Jordanian parliament "took only three minutes to reject a draft law calling for the cancellation of Article 340." The country's leading political party, the Islamic Action Front (IAF), denounced the draft law as an effort to "destroy our Islamic, social and family values, by stripping the man from his humanity, [and] not allowing him to get angry when he is surprised by [i.e., surprises] his wife committing adultery." Ten days later, in an unprecedented action, some 5,000 protesters flooded the streets of Amman demanding the repeal of the penal code provision allowing "honour" killings. The protesters included "Prince Ali, who is King Abdullah's brother and his personal guard, as well as Prince Gazi, the king's advisor for tribal affairs."

Demonstrators march in Israel to protest 'honour' killings.

"Honour" killings are also regularly reported in the Palestinian territories of the West Bank and Gaza Strip. In the Canadian women's magazine Chatelaine, Sally Armstrong described the fate of one victim:

Flirting was a costly mistake for Samera. She was only 15 years old when her neighbours in Salfeet, a small Palestinian town on the West Bank, saw her chatting with a young man without a male chaperone. Her family's honour was at stake; a marriage was quickly arranged. By 16, she had a child. Five years later, when she could stand the bogus marriage no longer, she bolted. In a place where gossip is traded like hard currency, and a girl's chastity is as public as her name, Samera's actions were considered akin to making a date with the devil. According to the gossips, she went from man to man as she moved from place to place. Finally, last July [1999], her family caught up with her. A few days later she was found stuffed down a well. Her neck had been broken. Her father told the coroner she'd committed suicide. But everyone on the grapevine knew that Samera was a victim of honour killing, murdered by her own family because her actions brought dishonour to their name. ... Here in the West Bank, the Palestinian Authority law allows honour killing. Samera's parents are walking the streets of their neighbourhood with their heads held high, relieved that the family honour has been restored. (Armstrong, "Honour's Victims", Chatelaine, March 2000.)

Twenty-two other women died in the Palestinian territories in the same year as Samera. The killings often spill over into neighbouring Israel, as with the killing of "40-year-old Ittihaj Hassoon" near Haifa in 1995:

On Oct. 16, 1995, ... Hassoon got out of a car with her younger brother on a main street of Daliat al Carmel, a small Israeli Druze village ... Over 10 years before, Ittihaj had committed the unpardonable sin of marrying a non-Druze man. Now, after luring her back to her home village with promises that all was forgiven and her safety assured, her brother finally had the chance to publicly cleanse the blot on the family name with the spilling of her blood. In broad daylight in front of witnesses, he pulled out a knife and began to stab her. The witnesses quickly swelled to a crowd of more than 100 villagers who -- approving, urging him on -- chanted, ululated, danced in the street. Within minutes, Hassoon lay dead on the ground while the crowd cheered her killer, "Hero, hero! You are a real man!" (Suzanne Zima, "When Brothers Kill Sisters," The Gazette [Montreal], April 17, 1999. See also Walter Rodgers, "Honor Killings: A Brutal Tribal Custom", CNN World News, December 7, 1995.)

According to Zima, "Ibrahim had agonized over his decision: 'She is my sister -- my flesh and blood -- I am a human being. I didn't want to kill her. I didn't want to be in this situation. They [community members] push[ed] me to make this decision. I know what they expect from me. If I do this, they look at me like a hero, a clean guy, a real man. If I don't kill my sister, the people would look at me like I am a small person.'"

Who is responsible?

"Honour" killings of women (and occasionally their male "partners in crime") reflect longstanding patriarchal-tribal traditions. In a "bizarre duality," women are viewed "on the one hand as fragile creatures who need protection and on the other as evil Jezebels from whom society needs protection." Patriarchal tradition "casts the male as the sole protector of the female so he must have total control of her. If his protection is violated, he loses honour because either he failed to protect her or he failed to bring her up correctly." (Armstrong, "Honour's Victims.") Clearly, the vulnerability of women around the world to this type of violence will only be reduced when these patriarchal mindsets are challenged and effectively confronted.

As many of the examples cited in this case study indicate, state authorities frequently ignore their obligation to prosecute "honour" killings. They should be viewed as "co-conspirators" in such crimes, and held accountable by organizations such as the United Nations.

The typical "honour" killer is a man, usually the father, husband, or brother of the victim. Frequently teenage brothers are selected by their family or community to be the executioners, because their sentences will generally be lighter than those handed down to adults (as was the case with the killing of Rania Arafat in Jordan, cited above). "Talking and writing about this atrocity is a good start," wrote Marina Sanchez-Rashid in a letter to The Jordan Times, "but I believe that action to start treating and judging the men who commit these crimes as the first degree murderers that they are, as well as to protect the victims as they deserve to be protected, is needed as soon as possible." (Quoted in Patrick Goodenough, "Middle East Women Campaign Against 'Family Honor' Killings," Conservative News Service, March 8, 1999.)

As with witch-hunts, however, "honour" killings also need to be viewed from a broader societal perspective; they derive from expectations of female behaviour that are held and perpetuated by men and women alike. Women's role has often been underappreciated. Occasionally, they participate directly in the killings. More frequently, they play a leading role in preparing the ground. In Palestine, for example, the anthropologist Ilsa Glaser has noted that "women acted as instigators and collaborators in these murders, unleashing a torrent of gossip that spurred the accusations." (Quoted in The Calgary Herald, April 20, 2000.) Jordanian women running for parliament have also been "reluctant to break the taboo" on condemning and prosecuting "honour" killings; one told the Manchester Guardian Weekly that "This is our tradition. We do not want to encourage women who break up the family." (Borger, "In Cold Blood.") In the Ramle district of Israel, police commander Yifrach Duchovey lamented his inability to secure the cooperation of community members in investigating "honour" killings: "Even other women -- the mothers -- won't cooperate with us. Sometimes the women co-operate with the men who commit the murders. ... A woman may think it is OK -- maybe she thinks the victim deserves it." (Quoted in Zima, "When Brothers Kill Sisters.")​


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## susan (Jul 18, 2009)

Waheguru,waheguru,waheguru
i am in tears reading about these catastrophic happenings. Just when you think women are finally being recognised as equal. "waheguru ji smath buksho"


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## vsgrewal48895 (Jul 19, 2009)

*INFANTICIDE OF FEMALE FETUS/CHILD*
​ 
Points of impact;

1. Social.

2. Economic.

3. Population decline.

4. Spiritual decline/ignorance

The basic underlying factor in female infanticide is the individual EGO, spiritual ignorance as well as socio-economic factors. If the spiritual ignorance is removed by respecting the female gender as Sikh Gurus tried to teach the humanity about it. Guru Nanak in Asa Di Var elucidates;

ਭੰਡਿ ਜੰਮੀਐ ਭੰਡਿ ਨਿੰਮੀਐ ਭੰਡਿ ਮੰਗਣੁ ਵੀਆਹੁ ॥ਭੰਡਹੁ ਹੋਵੈ ਦੋਸਤੀ ਭੰਡਹੁ ਚਲੈ ਰਾਹੁ ॥ਭੰਡੁ ਮੁਆ ਭੰਡੁ ਭਾਲੀਐ ਭੰਡਿ ਹੋਵੈ ਬੰਧਾਨੁ ॥ਸੋ ਕਿਉ ਮੰਦਾ ਆਖੀਐ ਜਿਤੁ ਜੰਮਹਿ ਰਾਜਾਨ ॥ਭੰਡਹੁ ਹੀ ਭੰਡੁ ਊਪਜੈ ਭੰਡੈ ਬਾਝੁ ਨ ਕੋਇ ॥ਨਾਨਕ ਭੰਡੈ ਬਾਹਰਾ ਏਕੋ ਸਚਾ ਸੋਇ ॥

_Bẖand jammī&shy;ai bẖand nimmī&shy;ai bẖand mangaṇ vī&shy;āhu.Bẖandahu hovai ḏosṯī bẖandahu cẖalai rāhu.Bẖand mu&shy;ā bẖand bẖālī&shy;ai bẖand hovai banḏẖān.So ki&shy;o manḏā ākẖī&shy;ai jiṯ jameh rājān.Bẖandahu hī bẖand ūpjai bẖandai bājẖ na ko&shy;ė.Nānak bẖandai bāhrā ėko sacẖā so&shy;ė._

From woman, man is born; within woman, man is conceived; to woman he is engaged and married. Woman becomes his friend; through woman, the future generations come. When his woman dies, he seeks another woman; to woman he is bound. So why call her bad? From her, kings are born. From woman, woman is born; without woman, there would be no one at all. O, Nanak, only the True Lord is without a woman.-----Guru Nanak, Raag Asa, AGGS, Page, 473

It is the ego, which by its veil separates the self from Truth/Universal Self. Ego/Houmai is an inflated feeling of pride in your superiority to others with a psyche that is conscious and most immediately controls thought and behavior being in touch with external reality. It is an exaggerated sense of self-importance; conceit. There is only one indirect reference in AGGS with admonishment to Brahmins following Vedas/Vedanta for such sacrifices for the sake of Ego.

ਬ੍ਰਹਮਣ ਕੈਲੀ ਘਾਤੁ ਕੰਞਕਾ ਅਣਚਾਰੀ ਕਾ ਧਾਨੁ ॥ਫਿਟਕ ਫਿਟਕਾ ਕੋੜੁ ਬਦੀਆ ਸਦਾ ਸਦਾ ਅਭਿਮਾਨੁ ॥

_Barahmaṇ kailī gẖāṯ kañkā aṇcẖārī kā ḏẖān.Fitak fitkā koṛ baḏī&shy;ā saḏā saḏā abẖimān._

If a Brahmin kills a cow or a female infant, and accepts the offerings of an evil person, he is cursed with the leprosy of curses and criticism; he is forever and ever filled with egotistical pride. -----Guru Amardas, Sloke Vaaran Tay Vadheek, AGGS, Page, 1413-4 & 5

Pride is the basic breeder of most human difficulties, the chief block to progress. When the satisfaction of our lower instincts, security and a place in society becomes the primary object of our lives, than pride steps in to justify our excesses. Fullness of knowledge always and necessarily means some understanding of our ignorance that is always conducive to both humility and reverence. Plenty of people wish to become devout but no one wishes to be humble.

ਇਕਨਾ ਨੋ ਸਭ ਸੋਝੀ ਆਈ ਇਕਿ ਫਿਰਦੇ ਵੇਪਰਵਾਹਾ ॥ਅਮਲ ਜਿ ਕੀਤਿਆ ਦੁਨੀ ਵਿਚਿ ਸੇ ਦਰਗਹ ਓਗਾਹਾ ॥

_Iknā no sabẖ sojẖī ā&shy;ī ik firḏė vėparvāhā.Amal je kīṯi&shy;ā ḏunī vicẖ sė ḏargeh ohāgā._

Some understand this completely, while others wander around carelessly. Those actions, which are done in this world, shall be examined in the Court of the Lord. -----Sloke Sheikh Farid, 98, AGGS, Page, 1383-3

Spiritual ignorance is a very serious matter. It is said that "What you don't know won't hurt you". We all know that is incorrect and yet it seems that many people have adopted that philosophy toward spiritual matters. "Many people are destroyed for lack of spiritual knowledge". It is not merely the lack of knowledge, but self-destructive turning away from truth in all areas of life and to be ignorant of one's ignorance is the malady of the ignorant.

It is the shore less ocean of darkness. It further leads to attachment with Maya.

ਅਸੰਖ ਮੂਰਖ ਅੰਧ ਘੋਰ ॥

_Asankh Moorkh Andh Ghor._

Countless fools are blinded by ignorance. ----Japji, AGGS, Page, 4-3

Ignorance is the absence of the divine knowledge of perception which gives us the sight of the supramental Truth; it is the non-perceiving principle on our consciousness as opposed to the truth-perceiving conscious vision and knowledge. Ignorance is a self-limiting Knowledge confined to an exclusive concentration of in a single field. The Ignorance, though in Matter and Life, has its primacy in the nature of the Mind, which measures, limits, particularizes, and divides. But Mind also is a universal principle, of the “Supreme” with the tendency to unify and universalize. Mind becomes ignorant when it loses connection with the Absolute Principle. Individuals worshiping departed heroes, ancestors, etc is of no avail and is in utter spiritual ignorance.

*Conclusion;*

Spiritual ignorance is the origin and nature of error, falsehood, wrong and evil in the consciousness and will of the individual; a limited consciousness growing out of the nescience is the source of the error, a personal attachment to the limitation and the error born of it the source of the falsity, a wrong consciousness governed by the life-ego the source of evil. The spiritual ignorance referred here is not lack of information but a deep seated misperception of reality. Divine Knowledge is the awareness and understanding of facts, truths or information gained in the form of learning. The purpose of Divine knowledge is to find the Truth and develop inner cleanliness by subjugating animal instincts and developing godly instincts or virtues by respecting human life and spiritual progress.

Virinder S. Grewal


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## Vikram singh (Jul 20, 2009)

*She is an illiterate woman from the tribal areas of Pakistan who almost died in  childbirth a year after marrying at the age of 12.

He is a famous Pakistani ob-gyn who was educated in Ireland. After spending  eight years there, he returned with plans to set up a fertility clinic for rich  patients and zip around in a Mercedes-Benz. But he was so shattered by the sight  of women dying unnecessarily in childbirth that he decided to devote his career  instead to helping impoverished women like her.* 




Check This


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## harbansj24 (Jul 21, 2009)

*Re: Missing Sikh Girl*

The population ratio of females to males in Punjab is probably the lowest in the country. If I remember right it 793 females to 1000 males.

Frankly speaking I am quite perplexed as to the reason. There is no impetus from the Sikh religion. In fact there is active discouragement for violence  or discrimination against women. SRM also prescribes social boycott for those practicing female infanticide. So then why this sorry state?

The only reason and a very weak one is, that  girl is considered as a "Bhar" or burden. First the parents have to spend a lot in bringing her up, then you have get her married off at expense which strains the families resources and then you have to continuously feed the greedy in laws to ensure her well being. So the returns for the family in having a girl are a big negative!

Fortunately with the spread of education girls in Punjab are becoming quite assertive and are in no mood to take any more nonsense. About 1 1/2 years back there was a well publicized case in Patiala in which a bridegroom and his family from USA demanded a dowry of Rs. 50 lakhs. The girl was qualified doctor. She would have none of this . So a plan was put in place. All the marriage arrangemnts were made. When the Barat reached the brides place, the bride people descended on the groom and his party and gave them a sound thrashing. As we say in Punjabi "kut dita see". They were subsequntly handed over to the police.
Isolated instances like these apart, this is serious problem. Fortunately preachers like Bhai Gur Iqbal Singh, Bhai Pinderpal Singh etc are tirelessly preaching that female infanticide and not giving equal status to women, is against basic Sikh tenets. The Govt of Punjab also with all its faults has launched media campaign against mistreatment of women.

I have just one questionto ask;

Our gurus had strictly forbidden practicing castecism, but it is raising its ugly head.
Our gurus had talked against illtreatment of women, but we disregard that.
Our gurus had forbidden consumption of intoxicants, but the consumption of alcohol is the highest in Punjab.

Why do disregard the teachings of our gurus so easily?

I am reminded of of what Guru Gobind Singh Ji had said:

*Jab Lag Khalsa Rahe Niara, Tab Lag Tej Dioon Mein Sara*
*Jab Eh Gaye Bipran Ki Reet, Mein Na Karoon In Ki Parteet.

*Is'nt because of this that Khalsa finds itself in pitiable plight (Warned by Guru Gobind Singh Ji) in the country of its birth?

Harbans Singh


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## kds1980 (Jul 21, 2009)

*Re: Missing Sikh Girl*



> The only reason and a very weak one is, that girl is considered as a "Bhar" or burden. First the parents have to spend a lot in bringing her up, then you have get her married off at expense which strains the families resources and then you have to continuously feed the greedy in laws to ensure her well being. So the returns for the family in having a girl are a big negative!


It is not always the greedy in laws.Many times the girl's family just to keep their social prestige high in their biradari and in groom's family  spend large amount on marriage and give big dowry



> Fortunately with the spread of education girls in Punjab are becoming quite assertive and are in no mood to take any more nonsense. About 1 1/2 years back there was a well publicized case in Patiala in which a bridegroom and his family from USA demanded a dowry of Rs. 50 lakhs. The girl was qualified doctor. She would have none of this . So a plan was put in place. All the marriage arrangemnts were made. When the Barat reached the brides place, the bride people descended on the groom and his party and gave them a sound thrashing. As we say in Punjabi "kut dita see". They were subsequntly handed over to the police.


actually the situation among middle class  sikhs in city like delhi have worsened.Dowry rates are going to crazy heights.Many girls are now working in private sector earning rs. 30000 and above per month.so the parents and girls themselves want that their prospective husbands  should be equally educated and earning equally or higher than a them.many families are now even offering flats as dowry which cost millions to grooms which they find suitable on the other hand they themself turn down proposals of boys
which are earning less.so for this system of Dowry parents of Girls and Girls should also be blamed.after all you cannot clap from one hand.


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## AusDesi (Jul 21, 2009)

*Re: Missing Sikh Girl*

Im not sikh so i can't speak in terms of a religious sense. however, my family has  lots of Sikh family friends in India and even one or two Bane hoye Bhen-Bhra(i can't remember the english word). I also have extended family in big cities of Punjab. 

The main reason is the same for Hindus and Sikhs:
1) Money - In the older times people use to collect dowry from the day the girl was born. Nowadays, even if you collect it from the day she is born and marry her off when she's 25 you will still not have enough. 
Education Costs up to 12th, Education costs for degrees,  Cost of the marriage ceremony, cost of dowry, Lena Dena after marriage at ever festival, birth of children and at any wedding at the in laws of the daughter.

Now im putting a rough estimate here according to the rates in Delhi, Jalandhar, Ludhiana etc. Lets say you ignore the education costs, after all every child deserves education.

I would say the cost of Marriage Ceremony, Dowry and Lena Dena would cross  20 - 30 Lakhs easily for a middle class family depending on how money hungry the inlaws are.  

I know Sikh gurus warned against ritualism. Marriage these days have become ritualism. They need the best suits and saris, best pandaal, best dj, best singer, best everything basically. Anything less than that hurts the SHAAN of people. 

2) Cultural Pressure - A family with only daughters is a gold mine for people to say things. Its intense stress due to the cultural idea of everything "going to the inlaws". 

Also, the other reason is the legal change. In older times, Once you married your daughter off that was it. You  did a bit of lena dena every now and then thats it. 

Nowadays, the law has changed. Girls can now demand an equal share of property once the parents die. Many times, the in laws of the girl will force the girl to fight with her brother over inheritance. 

3) Individual change - Girls are now more independant, outgoing and daring. Watch the music videos from Punjab. I know music videos aren't an accurate description but the culture is changing. 

Many girls fall in love with Losers, guys of different caste and guys their families don't like. When one girl in the street does this, it puts the fear into the hearts of other parents in the street or Pind. 


Plus there is many types of people who are aborting girls:
1) Rural poor: Once who want sons for farming etc and cannot even afford a tractor let alone marriage of a girl. 

2) City poor: Same story as rural poor but they just cannot compete with the dowry rates

3) City Middle - Lower Upper Class: Ones who are worried about the affordability + the social stigma of businesses or everything going to the 'Jawai'.


I hate to say it but I think its inevitable it was going to happen. In the older times most girls were married by 14 and were illiterate. It was hard but not as hard as now at least financially. I guess if someone had changed these views 100 years ago we wouldn't be at the stage we are now. 

Also, lets not forget the dodgy doctors who perform these operations. They make abortion like a drive-thru. Come in, get the operation done and forget about it. It is ridiculous. Parents don't think about what they are doing at all.


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## Dr Tajinder Pal Singh (Jul 22, 2009)

Why call her bad when kings are born by her, yes that is the spirit. But what happens when queens/ kaurs/rajkumaris are born by her.
Mere recital of these lines provides lip service only & no respect for the pains she bears to bear & rear the “ kaurs” ( dignified half of the society)
But the elder kaur has to get awaken & accept her own dignity & realize the kaur power before she can nurture another kaur in her womb & not succumb to the pressures of the society. Only then the society can be decorated with few more ,mata gujari ,mai bhago so on.
rather than degrading her fellow kaurs , she needs to support them for good cause so that more singhs can be the kings.


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## harsimiritkaur (Jul 22, 2009)

I visited Harmandar Sahib last year.  I went to Baba Deep Singh Guru Granth Sahib upstairs on Harmandar Sahib.  This granth is hand written and very big.  I came close to the bir, and the akhanda paathi was doing his job by waving his hand to communicate to me to move away.  He did not know that I speak and read Panjabi.  I told his 'STOP IT'.  Then I sat down to read the akhanda paath for a few moments, but not enough for anyone to notice or complain about him.

The next day I visited Avtar Singh Makar, head of akhal takht over there to ask if I could do kirtan.  He said never, women will never do it there.  I told him that women gave birth to Guru Nanak and that they cook the roti, why do the men eat it?  I told this that Badal Family and Takhsalis under Indian Government controls all of this.  Makar Singh could not answer this.  It was a very friendly conversation.  Not meant to intimidate.

I also spoke to the secretary and got the same response.  I handed over my Hebrew translation of Jap Ji Sahib to the secretary, don't remember his name, and he accepted my translation and put it on the shelf file saying,  "I'll contract you when we review it."  I doubt it they will.

My biography and this event is posted in Rozana Spokesman.  It happened end of May 2009, but wasn't posted until June or July.

When I read akhada paath in the Fremont gurdwara, they are ashamed to put the speaker in front of me.  There are sometimes 30 paaths in o ne room or ten.  But when it is my turn for the speaker, they take it away immediately.  Perhaps they are ashamed of my accent.  When I visited England this summer, everyone was excited to hear my paath on the speaker.  I even read the shlok mehela 9.

I am not boasting of me, but of the greatness of Guru Granth Sahib.  When should Fremont worry about my gori accent?  The sangat likes my accent, but someone in the management either does not care or is against my reading.  When and IF I have duties, I am assigned hidden in the back room akhanda paath or given only late night duties.


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## spnadmin (Jul 22, 2009)

Dr Tajinder Pal Singh said:


> Why call her bad when kings are born by her, yes that is the spirit. But what happens when queens/ kaurs/rajkumaris are born by her.
> Mere recital of these lines provides lip service only & no respect for the pains she bears to bear & rear the “ kaurs” ( dignified half of the society)
> But the elder kaur has to get awaken & accept her own dignity & realize the kaur power before she can nurture another kaur in her womb & not succumb to the pressures of the society. Only then the society can be decorated with few more ,mata gujari ,mai bhago so on.
> rather than degrading her fellow kaurs , she needs to support them for good cause so that more singhs can be the kings.



Yes, women have to value their daughters and give them confidence -- or the kaurs will never be able to raise singhs and kaurs who are truly centered and grounded in their true identity. It takes both kaurs and singhs to turn this world in the direction of Virtue.


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## spnadmin (Jul 22, 2009)

harsimiritkaur ji

Maybe I read your comments 6 or 7 times recognizing something different each time I read that was also part of my own experience. My comments are not comforting at all but maybe touch on a part of the reality. 

Sikhism is about 500 years old. Sikhism has suddenly -- in the past 20 or 30 years, and mostly in the last 10 years -- become very attractive to converts from diverse backgrounds. Sikhism, a religion that excludes no one in theory has also been enmeshed those 500 years in the culture and language of northern India, and in the diaspora. With few exceptions gurdwaras are founded by Punjabi communities and serve the sangat's purpose of maintaining religion as part of a cultural tradition. Now here we are -- all of us these converts -- asking people who can trace their family lineage back in some cases 1000 years to change their perspective on their culture and religion and admit us into their world.  

Converts to Sikhism come from religions that are organized to assimilate newcomers quickly into their religions. Sikhism is not organized that way -- it is a way of life and the newcomers have to find their place in it. Sorry to say it creates the impression of not including but excluding.  But we are asking Sikhs after 500 years to change a way of life. Changing the political culture, the social culture, the culture of language, the sense of ownership, the imperative to open up and share in sangats and gurdwaras-- these are really hard things to do.

This should however also give sangats something to think about.


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## kds1980 (Jul 24, 2009)

*Father kills mother over daughter's marriage*







              Infuriated over his daughter's marriage to a boy against his wishes in this district, a retired army man allegedly attempted to shoot his son-in-law but ended up killing his mother who tried to intervene. 
On learning that Balihar, who had married his daughter Kamaljit Kaur in a Chandigarh court a few weeks ago, was back in Brahmpura village, the accused Gurdeep Singh, along with six others, barged into the house of his son-in-law yesterday. 
Gurdeep Singh, carrying a .12-bore gun, fired at Balihar while his mother Manjit Kaur rushed to protect her son. She was shot twice, police said today. Senior Superintendent of Police, Patiala, Arpit Shukla said it was a kind of honour killing. 
The couple belonged to the same village and their alliance was objected to by the girl            s family, he said.     
Gurdeep Singh was caught by villagers and handed him over to the police. Police said the accused and six others had been arrested and the matter was being investigated.


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## anupreetk1 (Jul 25, 2009)

*Re: Missing Sikh Girl*

Sau ku Manda akhei jis jame rajan!

Our gurbani says that....but no matter how much we read it daily we do not understand the meaning behind it.

TO answer why sikh kills his/ her own daugther or why they mistreat them we first have to ask such people do they call themselves tru sikh? 

Kaur adds power but where is the power......greed may not be social pressure yes.......trememdous......none of us have the strength to live against the society we live in........

When ladies come to the house to not give blessing for the new born girl but to ake the parents feel bad...do w have the courage to tell them to get out......no because we want to be good.........we want to be known..........

That is the reason........after weeding people come to see what the girl brought with her.......do the in-lwas have courage to say she brought love and respect.......nah......things start to count........bitterness starts to creep........

Coming back a true sikh thinks different and more importantly acts different........guru gobind singhji made us ifferent but we choose to be same..........


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## Archived_Member16 (Jul 25, 2009)

Shining a light on honour killings' dark corner 






HANDOUT, VANCOUVER PROVINCE/THE CANADIAN PRESS PICTURE ARCHIVE (left), FACEBOOK 
Amandeep Atwal, left, was killed by her father; Aqsa Parvez's father and brother await trial in her death. 


One Canadian expert on honour killings believes mental illness may play a role

July 25, 2009 - THE STAR, Toronto
Daniel Dale
STAFF REPORTER


We are shocked, naturally, when it is alleged that honour killings have occurred in Canada. They seem alien, inaccessible, at odds with everything we know about our country. How could a primitive thing like that happen in a progressive place like this?

Curiously, the very cultural permissiveness that makes such crimes so jarring may help explain what leads to their occasional perpetration in North America and Europe. 

Honour killings, as the four Kingston canal deaths may or may not have been, are those committed against females whose suspected social transgressions are perceived to have shamed family members, usually males. Liberal societies provide opportunities for social experimentation that may not exist in some immigrants' native lands.

"It's easier for women to say, `Maybe I'll live by myself,' or `Maybe I'll live with another woman,' when they're not in some of the countries that they're coming from," says Marianne Mollmann, advocacy director for women's rights at Human Rights Watch. 

"The decision to not conform to the gender role you're supposed to play, that's what often leads to violence within the family. Where there are more opportunities for that, that could create a situation of abuse. But it's just so hard to say." 

Where honour killings are concerned, it is hard to be definitive about much. Nobody knows how many occur each year, though they certainly number in the thousands; statistics are spotty, the motivations of perpetrators impossible to comprehensively catalogue. 

Kingston police would not say why they have charged the father, mother and brother in the deaths of three Montreal teenage girls. Chief Stephen Tanner said the behaviour of one or more of the girls may have been a factor.

Honour killings occur for a variety of reasons. A 2005 Cairo Association of Legal Aid for Women paper discussed cases in which women were killed for becoming pregnant outside of wedlock or through incest, for committing adultery, or merely for being the subject of community gossip. 

The killings occur most often in Muslim-majority countries in the Middle East, North Africa and South Asia. Islam does not sanction them, however, and non-Muslims also commit them. 

In 2005, a Christian Palestinian man killed a daughter who wanted to marry a Muslim. In 2003, the Sikh father of British Columbia's Amandeep Atwal, 17, killed her when he learned she was dating a white boy.

The father and brother of the late Mississauga teen Aqsa Parvez, 16, are awaiting trial for her 2007 strangulation death. Parvez, friends have said, refused to accept her family's demand that she wear the hijab. However, other friends dispute the allegation.

Honour killings tend to occur in communities "that control every aspect of women's lives, including their body, speech and behaviour," says Lindsay Mossman, an Amnesty International Canada campaigner for women's human rights.

Ill-informed religious zealotry animates some "honour" murderers. Some perpetrators are encouraged by cultures that tolerate or encourage their violence. And in some countries, honour killing is legitimized by sexist law. Under Iraq's penal code, for example, an "honour" defence can reduce a prison sentence from life to one year.

Culture and law, however, cannot be solely blamed for the phenomenon. The great majority of residents of patriarchal societies with lenient laws do not kill. Amin Muhammad, a Memorial University of Newfoundland psychiatry professor who has studied the relationship between honour killings and mental health, says he believes some honour murderers have undiagnosed mental illnesses. 

"We have found psychopathic traits in people who are perpetrating this crime," he says. "You know that mental illness is a taboo, a stigma, here also; people from that part of the world, they don't approach a mental health specialist."

Alia Hogben, executive director of the Canadian Council of Muslim Women, says the question of whether the Kingston murders were prompted by honour concerns should not distract from the basic facts of the case.

"Whatever the rationale is," she says, "whether they think they're doing it for the honour of their family, or because they're jealous, or because they want to control the women – all that becomes, of course, interesting to discuss. But it shouldn't take away from the focal point, the fundamental issue: that women were killed."

source: TheStar.com - Canada - Shining a light on honour killings' dark corner


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## spnadmin (Jul 25, 2009)

*"Whatever the rationale is," she says, "whether they think they're doing it for the honour of their family, or because they're jealous, or because they want to control the women – all that becomes, of course, interesting to discuss. But it shouldn't take away from the focal point, the fundamental issue: that women were killed."

 *ਾਜੀਆ ਬਾਮਣਾ ਕੀ ਗਲ ਥਕੀ ਅਗਦੁ ਪੜੈ ਸੈਤਾਨੁ ਵੇ ਲਾਲੋ ॥ 
kaajeeaa baamanaa kee gal thhakee agadh parrai saithaan vae laalo ||
The Qazis and the Brahmins have lost their roles, and Satan now conducts the marriage rites, O Lalo.


 ਮੁਸਲਮਾਨੀਆ ਪੜਹਿ ਕਤੇਬਾ ਕਸਟ ਮਹਿ ਕਰਹਿ ਖੁਦਾਇ ਵੇ ਲਾਲੋ ॥ 
musalamaaneeaa parrehi kathaebaa kasatt mehi karehi khudhaae vae laalo ||
The Muslim women read the Koran, and in their misery, they call upon God, O Lalo.


 ਜਾਤਿ ਸਨਾਤੀ ਹੋਰਿ ਹਿਦਵਾਣੀਆ ਏਹਿ ਭੀ ਲੇਖੈ ਲਾਇ ਵੇ ਲਾਲੋ ॥ 
jaath sanaathee hor hidhavaaneeaa eaehi bhee laekhai laae vae laalo ||
The Hindu women of high social status, and others of lowly status as well, are put into the same category, O Lalo.


 ਖੂਨ ਕੇ ਸੋਹਿਲੇ ਗਾਵੀਅਹਿ ਨਾਨਕ ਰਤੁ ਕਾ ਕੁੰਗੂ ਪਾਇ ਵੇ ਲਾਲੋ ॥੧॥ 
khoon kae sohilae gaaveeahi naanak rath kaa kungoo paae vae laalo ||1||
The wedding songs of murder are sung, O Nanak, and blood is sprinkled instead of saffron, O Lalo. ||1||
  

 ਸਾਹਿਬ ਕੇ ਗੁਣ ਨਾਨਕੁ ਗਾਵੈ ਮਾਸ ਪੁਰੀ ਵਿਚਿ ਆਖੁ ਮਸੋਲਾ ॥ 
saahib kae gun naanak gaavai maas puree vich aakh masolaa ||
Nanak sings the Glorious Praises of the Lord and Master in the city of corpses, and voices this account.

Ang 722/723


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## Tejwant Singh (Jul 25, 2009)

1.How can one call this kind of dishonour as honour killing?

2.Honour about what?

3.Honour about not shortening the so called generation gap?

4.Honour about not understanding the nature and the culture the kids are brought up by not their own choice?

5.Honour about not finding ways to getting closer to the children out of arrogance and ignorance?
 6.Honour about not educating oneself as a parent ?

7.Honour about imposing the old ways no matter what the consequences may be?

8.Honour about ego and "my way because I know more because I am older" baloney?

9.If a parent knows more than the child which he/she does, then doesn't that knowledge make his/her duty to build up understanding with the kids by getting closer and feeling and knowing their inner needs and desires?

10.How can one claim to know more if one fails to understand one's own off springs?

11.Honour about demanding respect without instilling love in the children?

12.Honour about being parochial minded, hence not having tools to develop inner manifestation of love in the kids?

13. Honour about demeaning the kids at every chance one gets?

One can carry on and on.....

Honour, my back side of the anatomy.

Tejwant Singh


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## kds1980 (Jul 28, 2009)

*She died because she didn’t bring an AC*







                                                                                                                                          She was driven to death, allegedly because she did not bring in an air conditioner.  22-year-old Preeti Kaur was found hanging from the ceiling fan in her room at her husband's residence in Moti Nagar. 
 Police said she committed suicide because she was being harassed by her in-laws for not bringing in “enough” dowry. 
 According to police, Kaur and Sarabjeet Singh, a call centre employee in Mayapuri, got married three months back. The deceased had also been working in the same organisation. She resigned after she got married.  
 Incidentally, Sarabjeet Singh also left his job a few days ago.
 The West Delhi Police have registered a case of dowry death and have arrested Preeti's mother-in-law, Rajender Kaur (47) and Sarabjeet Singh (24). 
 “We received a PCR call around 6.30 pm. We sent her to the DDU Hospital where she was declared brought dead. A SDM enquiry was ordered and it was on his recommendations that we lodged a relevant case," said Deputy Commissioner of Police 
(West) Sharad Aggarwal.  
 The deceased's mother, Amarjeet Kaur, alleged her daughter often complained of dowry harassment. 
 "I would ask her to adjust herself in a new place. I said everything would be normal after a couple of months. I was so wrong."  
 Preeti’s brother, Lucky alleged that his family was first informed by her in-laws that Kaur was ill on Sunday evening. "We were informed about the death much later," he said.  
 The police said they are investigating why Sarabjeet had given up his job.


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## spnadmin (Jul 28, 2009)

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]_Jimmy          Carter breaks
        with Southern Baptists
        over the status of women_[/FONT]​ 



        [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Former          President
        Jimmy Carter[/FONT]​ [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif] _"Women          and girls have been discriminated against for too long
        in a twisted interpretation of the word of God."_ Jimmy Carter[/FONT]​ [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
        July 15, 2009 - I HAVE been a practicing Christian all my life and a deacon          and Bible teacher for many years. My faith is a source of strength and          comfort to me, as religious beliefs are to hundreds of millions of people          around the world. So my decision to sever my ties with the Southern Baptist          Convention, after six decades, was painful and difficult. It was, however,          an unavoidable decision when the convention's leaders, quoting a few carefully          selected Bible verses and claiming that Eve was created second to Adam          and was responsible for original sin, ordained that women must be "subservient"          to their husbands and prohibited from serving as deacons, pastors or chaplains          in the military service.

        This view that women are somehow inferior to men is not restricted to          one religion or belief. Women are prevented from playing a full and equal          role in many faiths. Nor, tragically, does its influence stop at the walls          of the church, mosque, synagogue or temple. This discrimination, unjustifiably          attributed to a Higher Authority, has provided a reason or excuse for          the deprivation of women's equal rights across the world for centuries.

        At its most repugnant, the belief that women must be subjugated to the          wishes of men excuses slavery, violence, forced prostitution, genital          mutilation and national laws that omit rape as a crime. But it also costs          many millions of girls and women control over their own bodies and lives,          and continues to deny them fair access to education, health, employment          and influence within their own communities.

        The impact of these religious beliefs touches every aspect of our lives.          They help explain why in many countries boys are educated before girls;          why girls are told when and whom they must marry; and why many face enormous          and unacceptable risks in pregnancy and childbirth because their basic          health needs are not met.

        In some Islamic nations, women are restricted in their movements, punished          for permitting the exposure of an arm or ankle, deprived of education,          prohibited from driving a car or competing with men for a job. If a woman          is raped, she is often most severely punished as the guilty party in the          crime.

        The same discriminatory thinking lies behind the continuing gender gap          in pay and why there are still so few women in office in the West. The          root of this prejudice lies deep in our histories, but its impact is felt          every day. It is not women and girls alone who suffer. It damages all          of us. The evidence shows that investing in women and girls delivers major          benefits for society. An educated woman has healthier children. She is          more likely to send them to school. She earns more and invests what she          earns in her family.

        It is simply self-defeating for any community to discriminate against          half its population. We need to challenge these self-serving and outdated          attitudes and practices - as we are seeing in Iran where women are at          the forefront of the battle for democracy and freedom.

        I understand, however, why many political leaders can be reluctant about          stepping into this minefield. Religion, and tradition, are powerful and          sensitive areas to challenge. But my fellow Elders and I, who come from          many faiths and backgrounds, no longer need to worry about winning votes          or avoiding controversy - and we are deeply committed to challenging injustice          wherever we see it.

        The Elders are an independent group of eminent global leaders, brought          together by former South African president Nelson Mandela, who offer their          influence and experience to support peace building, help address major          causes of human suffering and promote the shared interests of humanity.          We have decided to draw particular attention to the responsibility of          religious and traditional leaders in ensuring equality and human rights          and have recently published a statement that declares: "The justification          of discrimination against women and girls on grounds of religion or tradition,          as if it were prescribed by a Higher Authority, is unacceptable."

        We are calling on all leaders to challenge and change the harmful teachings          and practices, no matter how ingrained, which justify discrimination against          women. We ask, in particular, that leaders of all religions have the courage          to acknowledge and emphasize the positive messages of dignity and equality          that all the world's major faiths share.

        The carefully selected verses found in the Holy Scriptures to justify          the superiority of men owe more to time and place - and the determination          of male leaders to hold onto their influence - than eternal truths. Similar          biblical excerpts could be found to support the approval of slavery and          the timid acquiescence to oppressive rulers.

        I am also familiar with vivid descriptions in the same Scriptures in which          women are revered as pre-eminent leaders. During the years of the early          Christian church women served as deacons, priests, bishops, apostles,          teachers and prophets. It wasn't until the fourth century that dominant          Christian leaders, all men, twisted and distorted Holy Scriptures to perpetuate          their ascendant positions within the religious hierarchy.

        The truth is that male religious leaders have had - and still have - an          option to interpret holy teachings either to exalt or subjugate women.          They have, for their own selfish ends, overwhelmingly chosen the latter.          Their continuing choice provides the foundation or justification for much          of the pervasive persecution and abuse of women throughout the world.          This is in clear violation not just of the Universal Declaration of Human          Rights but also the teachings of Jesus Christ, the Apostle Paul, Moses          and the prophets, Muhammad, and founders of other great religions - all          of whom have called for proper and equitable treatment of all the children          of God. It is time we had the courage to challenge these views. --

        Jimmy Carter was president of the United States from 1977 to 1981.[/FONT]​


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## Tejwant Singh (Jul 28, 2009)

Nice to know that President Jimmy Carter has become a closet Sikh.


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## kds1980 (Jul 28, 2009)

Jimmy Carter's mother did social work in India.A village in Haryana is named carterpur after Jimmy carter visited it. 

What work did Jimmy Carter's mother do in India? - Blurtit

                     At the age of 67 Jimmy Carter's mother Lillian Carter joined the Peace Corps. She travelled to http://www.blurtit.com/q228318.html#India where she was helping the poor and sick for over 21 months. She travelled first to New http://www.blurtit.com/q228318.html#Dehli and from there to Bombay; there 35 kilometres from the city at an industrial park owned by Godrej she worked at the Family Planning Clinic. Determined to serve those who she would benefit most she worked at Dr. 

Bhatia's Clinic and confronted human suffering head on. She even worked with lepers. The suffering she saw in India likes of which she had not witnessed any where before moved and disturbed her greatly. Some of the pain http://www.blurtit.com/q228318.html# she felt for those around her found its way into her letters which she would write to those at home. She was also appalled at the attitude of the Indian people who showed at times a total disregard for the suffering around them. Dr. Bhatia warned her that the people she worked in India would miss her a lot after she left.


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## kds1980 (Aug 3, 2009)

Above: Receptacle where unwanted babies are dropped off anonymously. Immediately below (third photo from bottom): The cradle receptacle, as seen from the interior of the Home. All photos are by the author.
























sikhchic.com | The Art and Culture of the Diaspora | Unique House Serves Unique ... And Urgent Need!*People*

*Unique House Serves Unique 
... And Urgent Need!by MANVIR SINGH*


  Punjab is land of the Great Gurus, the land of prosperity, and the land of great saints and warriors.  
  Yet, inexplicably, it is stained with the sin of killing its baby daughters.  
  According to the Punjabi University, every fifth household in Punjab commits female foeticide.  
  During a recent trip to India, we went to the local gurdwara in Preet Nagar in Jalandhar, Punjab.  
  Bhai Parminder Singh from Amritsar (a _parchaarak_ - preacher - sent by the Dharam Parchaar Committee, Amritsar) was doing _kathaa_ (discourse) that evening. His kathaa was very simple, but effective. The way he spoke was very easy to understand and he got across our Guru's message really well. 
  Bhai Sahib said something which echoed in my ears: "Mothers have made their wombs into graveyards."  
  Bhai Sahib was speaking about abortion and how many Punjabis - not to mention the greater, all-pervasive problem across India - are killing their baby daughters before being born. I was glad to hear this active parchaar being done in the gurdwaras of Punjab. 
  The next day, my mum and I went to visit a place called "Unique Home", which is being run by the Bhai Ghanayya Ji Charitable Trust. 
  The Trust was established in 1993 with the goal of working towards the "Moral, Social, Cultural and Economic uplift of orphan children without any distinction of Caste, Creed and Religion". 
  The Unique Home looks after unwanted, unclaimed or orphaned children who have been discarded or neglected by society. Baby girls are found by roadsides, dumped near streams, or even left during the night in a baby cradle outside the Home. 
  The Unique Home is currently looking after 52 girls, mostly young children.  
  The main spirit behind this institution is Bibi Prakaash Kaur, whose aim is to rehabilitate those people whom society has disowned. The current seva is being done by Bibi Gurdip Kaur, who is the President of Bhai Ghanayya Ji Charitable Trust. Despite her old age, she is fully devoted to the service of the children. 
  Even though we had visited the Home without advance notice, we received a very warm welcome from the sevadaars.  
  When we entered, a young girl, probably 11 years old, shared a GurFateh with us and asked us to take a seat in the office room for visitors. Bibi Gurdip Kaur was away that day; another Sardarni was looking after all the children alone. 
  She came downstairs and warmly greeted us. She offered to get the children ready for us to meet them. Whilst we waited, a young girl aged perhaps 13 or so, came and asked us "What would you like to drink?" 
  I replied, "We are fine, thank you."  
  The girl then said, "We don't have anything to offer you. But can you kindly accept a cup of tea made by me as a form of _parshaad_ (gift) from all the children?" I was left speechless and moved by the young girl's innocent love and accepted to drink a cup of tea made by her.

After a little while, the Bibi in charge came to get us and took us upstairs.  
  The home itself was much smaller than I had expected. She took us to a room that had a number of metal baby cradles. Inside the cradles were babies that had been abandoned or dropped off and were now being cared for at the Home. 
  It was really sad to see that there were at least a dozen or so, and I thought: how does one or two of these Sardarnis manage to change all their nappies and look after them all, in addition to looking after the elder children. 
  There was one little girl with Down Syndrome, standing there, smiling away at us. The Bibi hugged the girl and began to do _simran_ with her. It was beautiful to see the Down Syndrome child hugging the elder woman and repeating "Waheguru ... Waheguru ..." after her. 

I was amazed at the seva of these women who have given up their own lives, their own families, and their own aspirations, to live in the Guru's _Hukam_ (Will) and dedicate their lives to rebuilding the lives of children who otherwise wouldn't have any life.  
  We learnt that the older girls in the home took care of the younger babies and they all supported each other as one large family. It was amazing to hear how some of the elder girls of the Home had been inspired by the dedication of Bibi Gurdip Kaur, elected not to get married and to commit their own lives to the care of the younger children. 
  Waheguru! These were the hidden gems of Punjab that were quietly going about, doing their seva.

After spending some time talking to the Bibi, we learnt about the astounding work they did by ensuring that all the girls were educated in English schools and, at a later stage, married into suitable homes. 
  All of this is done without any government support or funding, which is an immense challenge for the founder, Bibi Prakaash Kaur, and the other Gursikh caregivers. 
  Near the end of our visit, all the children got together and repeated the _punj pauriaan _of Japji Sahib and had a group photo taken with us. It was so nice to see the children get excited over seeing their own photo in the camera. There was one young girl (less than two years old), who had tears in her eyes. 
  But when you wiped them, the tears still didn't seem to disappear. It was as if the girl had permanent tears in her eyes. It was sad to see. 
  Despite our attempts to cheer her up, she looked very, very sad. Only the Guru knows what trauma the child had gone through. May Waheguru do _kirpaa_ (shower His blessings) on all these children and the sevadaars.  
  Please do support the Bhai Ghanayya Ji Charitable Trust and the Unique Home by visiting the Home and giving a small donation or donating some clothes. Any help and support would be greatly appreciated by the sevadaars. 
  And please pass this request on to all your relatives and friends who are going to visit Punjab in the near future.  
  Their address is: The Unique Home, 1082-B Model House, Taran Wali Gali, Jalandhar, Punjab. Tel: 01.81.227.6066


[_Manvir Singh lives in the United Kingdom_.]  
_  May 10, 2009  
_ 

 





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## Archived_Member16 (Aug 7, 2009)

*Female Foeticide: A Curse of History *​ 
*By KHUSHWANT SINGH* ​ 
*Long ago, girls were killed to protect them from Muslim invaders. Now, it's dowry.* ​ 
Punjab has a long history of doing away with newborn girls. The preferred method today is foeticide after a sex determination test, but centuries ago the practice was to bury them. This tradition perhaps goes back to the days of repeated invasions by Muslim armies from the northwest, who used to carry off girls as booty for their own pleasure or to be sold in the slave markets of the Middle East. Today, it is the extortionate dowries that parents of girls have to provide upon marriage. The custom of polyandry in Punjab probably arose out of the shortage of girls - the eldest son of a family would take a wife, his younger brothers would also have access to her. ​ 
One of Guru Nanak's oft quoted hymns condemns the denigration of women: 'We are born of women and nurtured by them, we fall in love with them and they bear us sons and daughters. How can you belittle women who give birth to kings?' His words had little impact - the killing of newborn girls continued as before, though practised more among the land-owning zamindars than by the common folk. ​ 
At the end of the first Sikh war, when the British annexed half of the Sikh kingdom, the Sikh zamindars of the region met John Lawrence, who had been appointed commissioner, to confirm their land holdings. He insisted on their signing pledges that they would not bury lepers alive, refrain from burning widows and stop burying newborn girls. The zamindars protested, saying Lawrence had promised that the two sides would not interfere with each others' religious customs. Lawrence agreed that he had indeed done so, adding that British religious custom was to hang anyone who followed these practices. That put an end to sati and the murder of lepers, and though female infanticide was checked it probably continued surreptitiously. ​ 
After Independence, and the passing of the Hindu Code Bill giving equal rights to inherit ancestral property to sons and daughters, things again took a turn for the worse with the murder of newborn girls gaining momentum, especially in propertied families. With medical science able to detect the sex of the child in the womb, the practice has become much more widespread, resulting in a situation today where the ratio of females to males in Punjab is the lowest in the country. ​ 
Religious leaders and institutions like the S.G.P.C. and the Akal Takht make only feeble attempts to put down this criminal practice and their efforts have failed miserably. _Kuree Maar_ (daughter-killer) is a common abuse in Punjab - an abuse that those who indulge in the practice have learnt to take in their stride. ​


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## Vikram singh (Aug 7, 2009)

Around India young women are becoming victims of a crime that is robbing them of their virtues and their wealth.
*Every year parents from Britain take their ‘looser sons’ to India and allow them to destroy the lives of innocent girls who crave for a life in Britain – or so they think*
*Many of these culprits are Sikhs, they have plagued the Punjab, with thousands of girls who have become bride and signed their lives to misery and pain, as they allow themselves to be robbed of the ‘virginitty’ become objects that give these bachelors a ‘wwhhoore’ on command whilst they are on holiday, with never a thought to these women once they return to Britain.*
 Rahuk Bedi has written of the misery Jaswant Kaur who is one of more than 15,000 'holiday wives' spread across India's northern Punjab state who, after years of abandonment, still awaits her husband's return from Britain.
 A fortnight after their lavish wedding in the border district of Gurdaspur, Karamjit Singh - considered a prize 'catch' for most Punjabi parents wanting their daughters married as he was a non-resident Indian settled abroad - left for London.
 He promised his excited 21-year-old bride, who had never left her small town, that he would send her immigration papers within weeks to enable her to join him.
*The groom and his family also carried away 700,000 rupees ($21,867.73) in dowry and gold ornaments which the bride's parents had raised by mortgaging their small plot of land and house.*
*Eleven years later, Jaswant Kaur still waits for news from her husband.*
*"We now learn that he already had a wife and two children in London when we were married" Kaur said.*
*"For him I was nothing but a sexual dalliance and a source of gratification for his greed in the dowry.*
 "Along with my family, I stand disgraced socially as an abandoned bride. I have no recourse to any redress whatsoever."
 Jaswant, however, is one of the luckier ones. Karamjit Kaur from nearby Jalandar, 400km north of New Delhi, was not as fortunate. Her husband Raghbir Singh left her with his parents and returned to his job in Dubai in December 2002 after carrying away the mandatory dowry.
 Three months later Karamjit's in-laws attempted to kill her by setting her alight when her parents were unable to pay additional dowry, a mode of bride murder favoured by thousands of greedy Indian husbands and their families.
 Her parents lodged a police case, but were harassed in turn.
 "All the police were interested in was making money out of our misery. They are doing nothing to investigate Raghbir Singh and his parents," she said.
 "Lust, dowry and the lure of settling abroad are responsible for the plight of thousands of these holiday wives across Punjab" said Daljit Kaur, a lawyer and activist.
 There was no legislation to safeguard them from being duped and dumped by Punjabi grooms mostly from the West, particularly Britain and North America and the Gulf Sheikhdoms.
 Some men even married three or four times, managing to flee safely each time because local police favoured the boys' families.
 In some instances, police took five to six years to even register a formal complaint.
 Since 2002, only a small fraction of the 15,000-odd female victims had managed to lodge cases. But police officials in state capital Chandigarh privately conceded that such cases are difficult, if not impossible, to investigate because once the man has left the country, extradition was given little or no priority.
 There have also been several cases of overseas Punjabi grooms taking their wives back, insuring them for large sums and then bringing them back home to have them murdered.
 India's tortuously slow and corrupt legal and police investigation structure was insurance against them being caught, although since the mid 1990s a handful of convictions had occurred but under pressure from overseas authorities.
 Punjab's intensely patriarchal social structure has a distinct gender bias against women, widely considered an economic liability as they need to be married off after payment of substantial dowries.
 Abandoned brides become even more of a drain on their families.
 "A woman who has been abandoned by her non-resident husband and returns to her parents' home is not welcome," said Balwant Singh Ramoowalia, head of the People's Welfare Society.
 The children from such unions face even greater prejudice.
 "Though social awareness programmes have been launched to educate people against this evil and the government lobbied to adopt more stringent laws, progress has been incremental" Kaur said.


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## Lucy Ahmed (Dec 29, 2009)

It is appalling to read about the repression of women in this society. 

Where is the humanity here?!!

What happened to the humanity in this society??

The mentality of the whole society should be changed! 

I am not a Sikh and as for that I do not understand much of the believes, but in my society (in Borneo) we are taught to respect every living things...which is not only the lifes of human beings but also the all the animals...birds...fishes, the plants...and even the hills...the mountains (ain't they are growing too and have thier own life?!)...including all the seen and unseen spirits. Thus to harm anything living is a curse. In my society, women are the care takers of the home when the men went hunting in the jungle for food...thus the elderly women are given high regards in the society. The healers and the priestess were women in the society who were believed to ward off all evils due to that the women are very well respected in our society.

In our society too, it is the men who footage all the bills of the wedding ceremonies thus it is said..."A MAN IS A MAN and he should earn his respect as a man by paying all the necessities of his woman." As for that the woman, she is not to spend even a single cent when the man is taking her home instead he should be gradeful to the female's parents by giving them a high respect for once caring for his woman. 

A Man should never expect for anything from the woman's side, but instead he should show his manhood through bravery and courage by giving and caring for his woman and family...IF NOT...HE IS NOT WORTH TO BE CALLED AS "A MAN" AT ALL.

Well...thats the believed of my ancestors, and I am sharing it with you guys here.


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