# Gurbani In Motion - Week 2 - Kindness



## chazSingh (Apr 23, 2013)

Having watched the following video below a few days ago...it felt like i had been hit by a brick.

all these years i thought i was a 'kind' person...always helping others...saying nice things....then i realised majority of the time i was 'a helping and kind person' with just my friends and family....but what of other people i come into interaction with? i walk around blind sometimes thinking of the self...what to do, where to make money...the next car i should have...what to eat tonight...these thoughts run my existance at times...and* i am sometimes blind to the opportunities of Seva god puts before me.*

*This video got me thinking of 'when was the last time i just RANDOMLY' did something kind for a STRANGER' ... a passer by...a person in the street. *Maybe this week i can do something like this and put a smile on someones face. *Can i start a ripple of kindness and love with a single action on my behalf...Can WE do it?*

Life Vest Inside - Kindness Boomerang - "One Day" - YouTube


*Gurbani's message on kindness and compassion *
*This Shabad is by Guru Arjan Dev Ji in Siree Raag on Pannaa 51 *

sireeraag mehalaa 5 ||
Siree Raag, Fifth Mehla:

sa(n)ch har dhhan pooj sathigur shhodd sagal vikaar ||
*Gather in the Wealth of the Lord, worship the True Guru, and give up all your corrupt ways.

*jin thoo(n) saaj savaariaa har simar hoe oudhhaar ||1||
*Meditate in remembrance on the Lord who created and adorned you, and you shall be saved. ||1||

*jap man naam eaek apaar ||
*O mind, chant the Name of the One, the Unique and Infinite Lord.
* 
praan man than jinehi dheeaa ridhae kaa aadhhaar ||1|| rehaao ||
*He gave you the praanaa, the breath of life, and your mind and body. He is the Support of the heart. ||1||Pause||
* 
kaam krodhh aha(n)kaar maathae viaapiaa sa(n)saar ||
*The world is drunk, engrossed in sexual desire, anger and egotism.
* 
po sa(n)th saranee laag charanee mittai dhookh a(n)dhhaar ||2||
*Seek the Sanctuary of the Saints, and fall at their feet; your suffering and darkness shall be removed. ||2|*
sath sa(n)thokh dhaeiaa kamaavai eaeh karanee
 saar ||
*Practice truth, contentment and kindness; this is the most excellent way of life.
* 
aap shhodd sabh hoe raenaa jis dhaee prabh nira(n)kaar ||3||
*One who is so blessed by the Formless Lord God renounces selfishness, and becomes the dust of all. ||3||
* 
jo dheesai so sagal thoo(n)hai pasariaa paasaar || 
*All that is seen is You, Lord, the expansion of the expanse.

*kahu naanak gur bharam kaattiaa sagal breham beechaar ||4||25||95||
*Says Nanak, the Guru has removed my doubts; I recognize God in all. ||4||25||95||
*


god bless


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## spnadmin (Apr 23, 2013)

chazSingh ji

Thanks for starting this thread series. Today the answer to the question, Who or What is the Source of Kindness? is clear. It would be great if we could share personal stories of how an act of kindness changed us in some way. Either because we were ourselves kind and changed. Or, because someone else was kind and changed our outlook on people and the world.

In the space of thinking about the Boston Marathon bombing I find it interesting that both kindness and unkindness stick around and leave traces of themselves where we might want them and where we wish they would go away. Both are a legacy of sorts. Left behind in the lives of others! Which choice do we make every day? What do we leave behind?  Thanks for provoking thought in this way.


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## chazSingh (Apr 23, 2013)

spnadmin said:


> chazSingh ji
> 
> Thanks for starting this thread series. Today the answer to the question, Who or What is the Source of Kindness? is clear. It would be great if we could share personal stories of how an act of kindness changed us in some way. Either because we were ourselves kind and changed. Or, because someone else was kind and changed our outlook on people and the world.
> 
> In the space of thinking about the Boston Marathon bombing I find it interesting that both kindness and unkindness stick around and leave traces of themselves where we might want them and where we wish they would go away. Both are a legacy of sorts. Left behind in the lives of others. Which choice do we make every day? What do we leave behind Thanks for provoking thought in this way.


 
it raises a a lot of questions and i hope 'self judgement' which it definately did for me...watching the video and reading the shabad.

how 'alive' am i really? most of the time i'm so enveloped in my own things, family things, worry, about the future...the past events...but 'today' living and breathing 'now' how 'alive' and 'aware' of my surroundings am i when the mind is keeping us me so pre-occupied with illusory things?

yes i've given money to a homeless guy on the street, go out of my way to help family and friends...but thats easy...what about others...what about just random acts of kindness that will uplift me, but i'm guessing which uplift the surprised passer by.

it really has hit me just how blindly i walk around in my own world sometimes.

maybe now that i am 'conscious' of my own 'blindness' maybe i can now be more alive to kindness and helping people more whether i know them or not...also getting over the 'fear' of how the other person may or may not react to the offer of help or the token of kindness...which i think affects me sometimes.


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## Harry Haller (Apr 23, 2013)

A few weeks ago, I noted an asian man walking down the road with several shopping bags, he kept stopping, resting and then carrying on, and to boot, it was raining heavily. I an across the road and practically insisted he allow me to give him a lift, he did not seem too well off, anyway, I practically dragged him and his shopping to where my car was parked, he seemed very nervous, maybe he thought I was going to molest him, I am not sure, eventually, I loaded him and his shopping in, and drove off to where he said he lived, I suddenly remembered I had left something at the shop, so I said, I just need to collect something and then we can go, he smiled, then sniffed and said, 'dogs' and laughed, I looked at his seat, covered in mud, the carpet, the steering wheel, in fact the whole interior was covered with a good coating of mud. 

Anyhoo, I retrieved my thing from the shop, got into the car, and the thing would not start, after several attempts, the battery died, and then we just looked at each other, the only fair thing to do was call a cab and pay for it, so I did, as we waited for the cab, I asked him what he did, turned out his family owned several of the poshest resteraunts in the area, (haha looks eh), so I packed him off in the cab, shoved ten pounds to the driver, and set about trying  to find someone for a jump start.


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## Ishna (Apr 23, 2013)

And how did all that make you feel, Harry ji?


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## Harry Haller (Apr 24, 2013)

Ishna said:


> And how did all that make you feel, Harry ji?



helping people, in my view, is not a choice, it is a duty. If you are a Sikh, it should be a way of life. 

It made me feel that every effort at helping others, regardless of outcome, is a better use of time and resources than focusing on matters that do nothing to assist in spiritual progress.


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## chazSingh (Apr 24, 2013)

harry haller said:


> helping people, in my view, is not a choice, it is a duty. If you are a Sikh, it should be a way of life.
> 
> It made me feel that every effort at helping others, regardless of outcome, is a better use of time and resources than focusing on matters that do nothing to assist in spiritual progress.



Nice answer ji...

I hear so often people saying "i did something really nice for someone" ... "but i didn't even get a thank you...no appreciation from that person" ... "won't do anything for them again"..

*i've done/thought this in the past as well...* 

this is a classic encounter with ones own ego...*no thank you in return*....*no being nice to that person again*...*where does the 'selfless' serving come into play?*

being nice should be in our makeup...our DNA...so i think you did great with your example of seva.

God bless


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## angrisha (Apr 24, 2013)

chazSingh said:


> it raises a a lot of questions and i hope 'self judgement' which it definately did for me...watching the video and reading the shabad.
> 
> how 'alive' am i really? most of the time i'm so enveloped in my own things, family things, worry, about the future...the past events...but 'today' living and breathing 'now' how 'alive' and 'aware' of my surroundings am i when the mind is keeping us me so pre-occupied with illusory things?


 
I think the challenge of staying present is attention. It's a product of our society today to be caught up in all the stuff that you've mentioned, however there is a way to bring a level of presence to everything you do. Even when you are interacting with your family/work. If you can be totally present in those moments and understand that no matter what you do God does it with you anyways then it gets harder (not impossible) for the mind to keep you out of the current moment. It's a practice. 




> maybe now that i am 'conscious' of my own 'blindness' maybe i can now be more alive to kindness and helping people more whether i know them or not...also getting over the 'fear' of how the other person may or may not react to the offer of help or the token of kindness...which i think affects me sometimes



Awareness is always the first step. I think this fear you talk about again is present got everyone, because we place this expectation on how someone should react to something that we do. Maybe more unconsciously, but that's a product of our ego. I think this is one of the hardest challenges for me as well letting go of the idea of a particular reaction due to a preconceived idea. 

For me I think kindness does start with those closest to you, you don't have to 'do' anything to be kind to someone. Just how you receive and acknowledge the ppl that come into your life on a daily is enough of a start.


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## arshdeep88 (Apr 24, 2013)

kindness ...
it comes naturally when you consider everyone to be created by the same creator who created you 
and why to expect thanks in return you are not serving people by helping them but serving almighty god 
u can consider it  to be sewa ,sometimes consider your responsiblity too,
kindness...it makes you feel alive and gives you tremendous joy and you feel life to be worth

wonderful thread


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## Harry Haller (Apr 24, 2013)

to be honest, the more ungrateful the reaction,  the better. 

However we live in a society now, where random acts of kindness are seen as unusual, so unusual, the response can be  OTT. 

Every day we ask ourselves what is the right thing to do, what is the true thing to do, and every day we are surrounded by oppertunities to do these things, for no other reason than the deed itself. 

In my previous life, devoid of the understanding I have now, I did plenty of good deeds, but always with an agenda, and all deeds were done to those that had the ability to respond, ie, giving food to a beggar had no chance of return, but changing the tyre on a mercedes for a businessman, or a sports car of an attractive woman, all had possibilities and potential outcomes, I think that is the difference between being truly conditioned to give and help, or being sly and cunning, but still thinking that you are a good person. 

unfortunately, the world is full of the latter, whom all think they are the former


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## arshdeep88 (Apr 24, 2013)

chaaz singh veer ji
for the last few minutes this thread has made me to think a lot
it made me think about EKONKAAR
how ENONKAAR can help us relate to many things
i beg for forgiveness if i say something wrong about how i am seeing things from my  prospective 
Ekonkaar ,he the creator is the one for all,all my people around has been created by him
the feeling of me different from him or him different from me  vanishes
irrespective of other being black,white,brown ,muslim,hindu ,sikh,keshdari sikh amritdhari sikh etc or not,
feeling of other being poor and rich vanishes ,
the feeling of love kindness  arises for the other as he has been made by the same creator as i am
his source and mine is the same ,
from ENONKAAR feeling of oneness ,unity  too  arrives in heart 
its like seeing everyone from unified personification 

"Guru Ek Dehi Bujayee Sabhna Jeeya Ka Eko Data So Mai Visar Na Jayee"

forgive me again if my interpretation for shabad is wrong  but its like it helps  in relating again with all the creatures around ,that all these creatures are being nourished by that ONE creator,feeling of oneness again arrives resulting in kindness and love for all

still sometimes we forget this feeling and differences arise among ourselves


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## Ishna (Apr 24, 2013)

It's a shame that some people can be so willing to take advantage of other people's kindness.  Kindness should be done for kindness's sake and not in anticipation of reward in this or some other life, however we should be careful not to reward exploitative behaviour or encourage a welfare system where other people don't have to take responsibility for themselves.


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## spnadmin (Apr 24, 2013)

Ishna said:


> It's a shame that some people can be so willing to take advantage of other people's kindness.  Kindness should be done for kindness's sake and not in anticipation of reward in this or some other life, however we should be careful not to reward exploitative behaviour or encourage a welfare system where other people don't have to take responsibility for themselves.



Ishna ji

There are situations and even groups of individuals who truly cannot take responsibility for themselves, or perhaps not completely. A safety-net in the form of social services and public  benefit keeps society integrated... so we don't put our aged out on the proverbial ice flow to die when they can no longer make an economic contribution, or condemn working people to die because they cannot afford health coverage for catastrophic illness that is sudden and expensive. I could go on about abandoned or abused children, and workers whose place of employment goes bankrupt. There are many examples like these. But I do agree that boundaries need to be set so that "giving" is not an obligation and "receiving" does not turn into entitlement. This can happen in very ordinary ways... as when one person assumes that because his/her life has hit some rough patches, someone else is obligated to give, just because "x" *needs *what "y" has. It happens in a multitude of ways: in family, the office, school and more. The idea that "I am entitled to what you have just because I want and deserve it" is a form of envy. Giving into envy is enabling a serious weakness. Then giving is not helping but harming. Very difficult too to say "No."


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## chazSingh (Apr 25, 2013)

There are also challenges that life brings that tests your compassion or kindness or willingness to keep your integrity, your inner love to help others even in the face of resistance from others.

For example...
My wife holds many many grudges with people...friends, family. She finds it extremely difficult to let go of 'past' comments and events from others. It effects her present and will affect her future also.

What does one do when someone so close you 24/7 expects or demands you to hold the same grudges? when your partner says "i dont want you to talk to this person, that person" "i dont want you helping them in any way" ... "don't talk to their children...because they belong to the people i hate"

What do you do?

for me, i carried on being/trying to be nice...to be of help to others...for trying to keep the peace, for keeping my own integrity, trying to recognise god in all...

yes it brewed up some storms within my partner and others...but as they say there is always light and peace that follows a storm  and i am starting to see some little miracles that blossom in people.


god bless.


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## arshdeep88 (Apr 25, 2013)

i find helping whom i don't know and whom i have never met ,just a stranger or passer by always easy as compared to my closed ones as they in return never say that's not enough or we too in return have no expectation of even thanks from them,
but in case of closed ones it becomes really difficult,because expectations are high,sometimes our closed ones become so ungrateful that they don't even appreciate even small act of kindness and love ,but expects more or will sometimes tell you all sort of things to keep your confidence down and that it is not enough
it happens sometimes in case of my parents
my dad wants something else from me and my mother wants something else from my life
and it is very difficult to keep both of them happy
at the same time i have to make myself stand out too in my beliefs too
and when your love and compassion and acts of kindness are not to their level it makes you feel tiring
it is difficult to keep everyone happy  at the same time
for me i try to become non attachmental and sometimes just de-attach myself from everyone around me,in that moment of solitude i remind myself of many things
sometimes you do feel that you have done so much kindness to that person but that person forgets about appreciating talks of ills about you 
there are lot of things that happen and depress you and makes you feel no i wont be good from now onwards ,i wont be helping anyone from now onwards or even will do any sort of kindess
sometimes when you are kind people think there might be some reason behind your kindness
people think sometimes that there is some hidden agenda behind your kindness
it becomes really difficult till sometimes you surrender each of your act of kindness to almighty himself 
i somewhere read Mother Teresa quote which somehow helped me a lot in realizing things

*"if you are kind,people may accuse you of ulterior motives be kind anyway because in the end its never between you and people its just between you and god"*

non attachment from people helps a lot,
for me till now i believe do your part and walk alone that's the key of walking in the world otherwise you will get stuck in people only and not move ahead
alone here just means non attachment from people around


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## chazSingh (Apr 25, 2013)

arshdeep88 said:


> i find helping whom i don't know and whom i have never met ,just a stranger or passer by always easy as compared to my closed ones as they in return never say that's not enough or we too in return have no expectation of even thanks from them,
> but in case of closed ones it becomes really difficult,because expectations are high,sometimes our closed ones become so ungrateful that they don't even appreciate even small act of kindness and love ,but expects more or will sometimes tell you all sort of things to keep your confidence down and that it is not enough
> it happens sometimes in case of my parents
> my dad wants something else from me and my mother wants something else from my life
> ...


 
this is the web of maya that we all find ourselves in...
it will do anything to stop us from exersicing our divine qualities which we all have in abundance...

the trick i learned is to practice not expecting anything in return...whether it verbal from the other person...whether it an act of kindness in return..

or even to be accepted by them, or to get respect from them, as it sounds like you want from say your parents....just give give give...
and as someone told me yesterday...if you give selflessly, it comes back to you 10 fold.

if we keep practicing this...i'm sure libration is achieved from this..
you say when you be kind...people think you have ulterior motives...
i say say "forget them" i'll be nice anyway...

yes they may not appreciate it...but it is not them that we are being nice to...it is the light of god within them. this is our true relationship...the common denominator within us all. they will one day also start seeking within for their creator...until then lets endevour to be nice and show acts of kindness...

as hard as that sometimes is 

i agree with you that sometimes it is better to walk away and use your energy elsewhere...because some people do drain your energy so much.

but i also think there is a difference in what we feel when we walk away.

like example...we can say *"god bless you" and walk away from a person or event feeling nice and happy and in peace knowing we showed something from our heart, to the god in the other*

or we can walk away saying "*forget you..never helping you again..you ungrateful so and* so"



it's difficult, for me also...but we must try...plough the field as they say ready to receive grace.

god bless


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## Luckysingh (Apr 25, 2013)

All the above posts and the OP have actually made it more clear to me what the 'sat sangat' actually is !!??
Most of us(including me) have at sometime assumed that it is the mere sitting in the gurdwara and singing gurbani or doing some seva..etc..
FAR FROM IT !!!!

The 'Sat sangat' is all about what the OP is. It is all about how we interact with the others. Our actions in this sat sangat are what will help us realize God.
It reminds me of how there are many tuks along the lines of ''God can be found in the sat sangat'. " the kundalini rises in the sadh sangat''...etc..etc..

The devotion and time given for others in this world (the sat sangat) should be at ALL times and NOT just when we feel the need to be charitable and giving !!


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## spnadmin (Apr 25, 2013)

Very nice !!!!


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## findingmyway (Apr 28, 2013)

Random kindness is a wonderful thing! I have a habit of asking people who look lost if I can help. Sometimes I end up making a fool of myself as people don't need help at all! Last week I was in London for work. I asked for directions as I was lost. The couple told me the wrong way but when they realised, one of them ran back to tell me. It was very sweet of them to be concerned enough to run back and I will continue making a fool of myself if I can also help someone random on their way like I was helped!


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