# Is It 'Beadbi' If A Clean-Shaven Guy Wears A Pag (Turban Worn Sikh-Style)?



## Archived_member7 (Nov 14, 2008)

I am always thinking to get the Turban back in fashion in India . The Kara has suceeded in fashion ...Many ideas pop up....can we have requests made at local Gurdwaras to request the sahajdhari sangat turn up wearing Turbans on Sundays when Sangats come in large numbers ? 

Can we celebrate Turban day on Baisakhi..the day our Beloved Khalsa ji was established...? 

The recent issue on the Singh is King movie dampened the idea ...however i thought to share this with our Sikh Philosophy Sangat....

Is this considered Beadbi ???

Well for me ....the best and most respected Head Gear in India is the Turban...if you watch any old english movies ...you will notice that Indians are all shown with Turbans ...

I also came across this info when i was listening to Gyani Maskeenji...Gyaniji stated that the earliest account of the importance of the Turban is..when Sudama a friend of Shri Krishanji visited Him...Sudama ji was poor therefore he was a torn attire..when he met Shri Krishan ji ...Krishanji covered his head with a Turban ...

Gyan Maskeen ji by giving this example stated that ..although Sudama ji's  clothes were torn..Shri Krishan ji gave instant importance to the Turban...since he was 'nange seer' or head uncovered....

I request Sangatji to advice me on this 

Raaj Karega Khalsa


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## spnadmin (Nov 14, 2008)

*re: Is It 'Beadbi" If A Clean-Shaven Guy Wears A Pag (Turban Worn Sikh-Style)?*

Raj Khalsa ji

You are making some interesting statements -- many of them I agree with. But I am a little confused  Please elaborate more on where your concern for Beadbi comes in. The thread title is sending us in one direction; and your comments are leading in another. So I need to hear more of your thinking on this.


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## Archived_member7 (Nov 14, 2008)

whoooooo...i m sorry if i got you confused We have a dirty dozen in Punjab who created a ruckus over a actor who was shaved ..wearing a Turban in the movie..they considered this 'Beadbi'...The main objection raised was that the film promos showed Akshay Kumar's character sporting a trimmed beard, which some orthodox Sikhs found offensive Singh is Kinng screening disrupted in Amritsar- Entertainment-Media / Entertainment -News By Industry-News-The Economic Times










Above : Akshay kumar with trimmed beard ; Below: The Protest


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## Archived_member7 (Nov 14, 2008)

What ideally things should be is a different issue...but if the actor wasnt suppose to trim..were these guys suppose to destroy property ? and among our Sikhs ..dont we have all shades of people ...you can get the best alcoholics in Punjab..bearded or shaved ...Punjab does have an alcohol problem...


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## spnadmin (Nov 14, 2008)

rajkhalsa ji

Thank you for the elaboration. Yes, I knew about the problem with this actor Mr. Kumar having a trimmed beard, but acting in the role of a Sikh, who comes to his senses and becomes a hero. Forum moderator Randip ji had I believe something to say about this commotion. Once someone told me as a joke: If you are standing in a garage, that does not make you an automobile. If you are wearing a beard and turban, that does not make you a Sikh. The question is a constant issue -- and one where my opinion is not always welcome. Bana, some say, is an outer covering that changes you inwardly, purifies you within. Here we have some pictures that suggest that such is not always the case.

Having said this: When I see a man with a beard and turban -- then I think, he must be a Sikh. It is a comforting sight. No question. When I see someone with a kara, but no turban, perhaps a trimmed beard or no beard, I still think, he must be a Sikh. And it is a comforting sight. But it is devotion to the Satguru that purifies from within. Don't hold your breath though waiting for the world to change! You will die first. There will always be people who believe that they are the only ones who have it right. Nothing you can do about it.

```````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
Who said the words below? Hint: a modern-day Sikh. You will be surprised!
_Too often these days the practice of Sikhi has become negative, where guilt and judgment are passed onto people in relation to their practice of Sikhi (or lack of). I don’t look at Sikhi in this way as some ritualistic and fixed practice. So many of the practices of Sikhs have evolved over the past 400 years and I expect this to continue in many ways as the world changes._


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## kds1980 (Nov 15, 2008)

rajkhalsa said:


> whoooooo...i m sorry if i got you confused We have a dirty dozen in Punjab who created a ruckus over a actor who was shaved ..wearing a Turban in the movie..they considered this 'Beadbi'...The main objection raised was that the film promos showed Akshay Kumar's character sporting a trimmed beard, which some orthodox Sikhs found offensive Singh is Kinng screening disrupted in Amritsar- Entertainment-Media / Entertainment -News By Industry-News-The Economic Times
> 
> 
> 
> ...




The sikhs that protested against singh is king were stupids.Last Year there was a Film Jab we met that portrayed sikh girl in worst manner.But surpisingly there was not even a word from Any sikh or sikh organisation


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## Randip Singh (Nov 16, 2008)

rajkhalsa said:


> whoooooo...i m sorry if i got you confused We have a dirty dozen in Punjab who created a ruckus over a actor who was shaved ..wearing a Turban in the movie..they considered this 'Beadbi'...The main objection raised was that the film promos showed Akshay Kumar's character sporting a trimmed beard, which some orthodox Sikhs found offensive Singh is Kinng screening disrupted in Amritsar- Entertainment-Media / Entertainment -News By Industry-News-The Economic Times
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Those guys are from teh AKJ....need i say more? Akhand Keertani Jatha have been described humourously as PKJ or Pakhaand Keertani Jathaa.

My own view is that AKJ are Sikhs, but they are no different to any other cult like Namdhari's, or Radhaoswami.


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## Archived_member7 (Nov 17, 2008)

thank you for all the inputs but people we need to discuss...IS IT BEADBI ?? See, my idea is to promote Sikhi Swaroop...if turbans come in trend..things can change...and what has been a part of the culture has to be promoted ...Turbans have been part of the India culture since ages...


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## Randip Singh (Nov 17, 2008)

rajkhalsa said:


> thank you for all the inputs but people we need to discuss...IS IT BEADBI ?? See, my idea is to promote Sikhi Swaroop...if turbans come in trend..things can change...and what has been a part of the culture has to be promoted ...Turbans have been part of the India culture since ages...


 
Sikhs do not have a monoply on turbans!

So I cannot see why not.


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## BHAGATSINGHDAVEER (Nov 17, 2008)

sat sri akaal jio! reading this post reminded me of the line in gurbani "khoob teri pagri mithe tere bol". the turban is not a sikh invention so we cannot just claim it is beadbi for a clean shaven/trimmed sikh or non sikh to wear one. as for Bollywood, well it seems we can't win. just last year we sikhs were rightly protesting the negative images of sikhs portrayed in films and internet (sardar jokes/backward / comedien types in films) ok this year we have 2 films with a more positive role for an actor playing a sikh. Breaking and damaging property in the name of religion while wering bana is not the guru's way neither is bombing cinema's. It is the actions of the person wearing the pagri that define beadbi of our image not his / her looks.
bul chuk maff...das begs forgiveness if i have offended anyone.


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## Archived_member7 (Nov 17, 2008)

thank you both bhai randip ji and bhai bhagatsinghdaveer ji...yes we should react to showing us sikhs as stupid...i get agitated too...and i think things have gone beyond control..if we dont show our agitation we are taken for granted...I am coming up with a presentation soon...

Nadir Shah raided Delhi in the year 1739

and looted Hindustan and was carrying lot of Hindustan treasures and

nearly 2200 Hindu women along with him. The news spread like a fire 
and

was heard by Sardar Jassa Singh who was the Commander of the Sikh army

at that time. He decided to attack Nadir Shah's Kafila on

the same midnight . He did so and rescued all the Hindu 

women and they were safely sent to their homes.



It didn't happen only once but thereafter whenever 

any Abdaalis or Iranis had attacked and looted

Hindustan and were trying to carry the treasures and 

Hindu women along with them for selling them in Abdal

markets, the Sikh army although fewer in numbers but

were brave hearted and attacked them at midnight ,12

O'clock and rescued women. 



After that time when there occurred a similar

incidence, people started to contact the Sikh army for

their help and Sikhs used to attack the raider's at

Midnight, 12 O'clock. Nowadays, these "smart people" 

and some Sikh enemies who are afraid of Sikhs, have

spread these words that at 12 O'clock, the Sikhs go

out of their senses. This historic fact was the reason

which made me smile over that person as I thought that 

his Mother or Sister would be in trouble and wants my

help and was reminding me by saying off 'Sardarji


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## spnadmin (Nov 17, 2008)

BHAGATSINGHDAVEER said:


> sat sri akaal jio! reading this post reminded me of the line in gurbani "khoob teri pagri mithe tere bol". the turban is not a sikh invention so we cannot just claim it is beadbi for a clean shaven/trimmed sikh or non sikh to wear one. as for Bollywood, well it seems we can't win. just last year we sikhs were rightly protesting the negative images of sikhs portrayed in films and internet (sardar jokes/backward / comedien types in films) ok this year we have 2 films with a more positive role for an actor playing a sikh. Breaking and damaging property in the name of religion while wering bana is not the guru's way neither is bombing cinema's. It is the actions of the person wearing the pagri that define beadbi of our image not his / her looks.
> bul chuk maff...das begs forgiveness if i have offended anyone.



Bhagatsinghdaveer ji

You are describing exactly the contradictions in messages about Sikhs and Sikhi that continually baffle me.  I am not offended. Funny how no one typically asks  whether bombing cinemas and breaking store windows is _beadbi. _


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## Archived_Member_19 (Dec 3, 2008)

is fighting with one another and flaming on this board a beadbi?


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## spnadmin (Dec 4, 2008)

amarsanghera said:


> is fighting with one another and flaming on this board a beadbi?




:shock::shock: Are we in trouble then?


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## Archived_member7 (Dec 4, 2008)

Is it beadbi to react to insults and allegations heaped upon our country and its majority ?? I dont think so...and i  feel if this is Beadbi..then i m proud to do it ...and shall repeat

there is a saying in Mumbai style Hindi..Tum Karo to Chamatkar ..Hum Kare to Balaatkaar (translated....what you do is a Miracle...and what we do is rape...i cant get a good word to sound it rhyming as in hindi)


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## spnadmin (Dec 4, 2008)

rajkhalsa ji

The discussion has been so far about the photograph below and the actions of fanatical groups. What are you asking?


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## Astroboy (Dec 4, 2008)

amarsanghera said:


> is fighting with one another and flaming on this board a beadbi?




Thank you amarsanghera ji for bring up awareness. 

Turbans are also worn by muslims. But they do not keep unshorn hair.
Turban is not part of the 5Ks.


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## Archived_member7 (Dec 4, 2008)

Originally Posted by *amarsanghera* 

 
_is fighting with one another and flaming on this board a beadbi?

I am reacting to this..._


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## spnadmin (Dec 4, 2008)

Originally Posted by *amarsanghera* 

 
_is fighting with one another and flaming on this board a beadbi?

To clarify the question, flaming is not beadbi. It is just not allowed. 
_


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## Archived_member7 (Dec 4, 2008)

As you sow, so you reap  Hatred Begets Hatred


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## spnadmin (Dec 4, 2008)

a basic truth


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## pk70 (Dec 4, 2008)

*Attention aad Bhain Ji and respected namjap Ji*

*Destiny of illusions*

*We were brain-washed we never realized*
*Against the purpose we appose*
*Against the cause we defy*
*We were made to sell the souls*
*For the intention we ignore *
*For the aim we think futile*
*Solute to the souls who *
*Preferred to exit than be present*
*To support to witness horror and helplessness*
*Living has many facets*
*Sometimes they come without choices*
*Solute to the souls who*
*Preferred to exit than to be present*
*To witness horror and helplessness*
* Very much you were there*
*Why weren’t you seen?*
*You are here why are so invisible?*
*Guru Nanak points out the ditches*
*The walls that fortified the visibility*
*Amazing, amazing, amazing Oh Lord*
*You given the light to progress*
*We adore the darkness in tempting illusions!*
*Light is shadowed with destiny of illusions!!!!*

  (Note: You can remove it if you want, it’s at your disposal)


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## spnadmin (Dec 4, 2008)

pk70 said:


> *Attention aad Bhain Ji and respected namjap Ji*
> 
> *Destiny of illusions*
> 
> ...



No I like it! another entry for the thread, Original Poetry and Short Stories by SPN Authors!

But the lesson learned is that I should give up moderation and forums forever. Right?


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## pk70 (Dec 4, 2008)

*NO, No, Not at all, if you do, storms would ruin the crop beautifully ripe*.


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## spnadmin (Dec 4, 2008)

Maybe I choose the path of undivided mind cool .....


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## pk70 (Dec 4, 2008)

aad0002 said:


> Maybe I choose the path of undivided mind cool .....



*
I love that ! By the way I actually dedicated the poem to both of you by stating complexities of people's thinking and guardians of the truth*


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## spnadmin (Dec 4, 2008)

Ok, I will stay! I can't speak for NamJap. When he comes back online he will make his decision.


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## pk70 (Dec 4, 2008)

aad0002 said:


> Ok, I will stay! I can't speak for NamJap. When he comes back online he will make his decision.






*In hope another one*


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## BhagatSingh (Dec 4, 2008)

rajkhalsa said:


> Above : Akshay kumar with trimmed beard ; Below: The Protest


If only thye did that with posters of pakhandi babey.


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## BhagatSingh (Dec 4, 2008)

aad0002 said:


> Bhagatsinghdaveer ji
> 
> You are describing exactly the contradictions in messages about Sikhs and Sikhi that continually baffle me.  I am not offended. Funny how no one typically asks  whether bombing cinemas and breaking store windows is _beadbi. _


Of course its not beadbi of SIKHS! It might be beadbi of sikh principles but NOT SIKHS! NO WAY! 
We have sunk into our image way too much. We sit back and talk about how cool our history is but fail to LIVE the history. We say we have great role models and heroes from our history but we use them to our advantage.
This turban thing shouldn't even be an issue since Sikhs don't own the turban. Remember it was the hair that were mandatory for the Khalsa not the turban. Turban being an effective way to manage long hair isn't the only thing that performs that function.
Mindless people doing mindless things... typical


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## Randip Singh (Apr 19, 2009)

amarsanghera said:


> is fighting with one another and flaming on this board a beadbi?



The worst sort of beabedi 

Beware you will be excommunicated forever


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## Randip Singh (Apr 19, 2009)

BhagatSingh said:


> If only thye did that with posters of pakhandi babey.



Indeed.

The problem is these fellows follow pakhandhi babay hence why they smash cinema's up.


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## Randip Singh (Apr 19, 2009)

namjap said:


> Turban is not part of the 5Ks.



A great point but namjap ji do you think if turban was part of 5k's then it would make a difference?

PS these AKJ lot believe that Keski or pugh is one of the 5 k's,


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## Gyani Jarnail Singh (Apr 20, 2009)

Dastaar is NOT part of 5 K's....BUT like the Catch 22 situation...

Its COMPULSORY for KESH to be COVERED at ALL TIMES. KESH should Never be left UNCOVERED...to avoid BEADBEE.
Nangeh Sir..cannot eat....cannot go to toilet....cannot go to Gurdwara/Parkash Room of SGGS if in the home...Cannot do Paath/read Gurbani/do Nitnem !!!! so where does that leave us..vis  a vis the Dastaar...
Cannot escape via chhotee dastaar..keski etc....dastaar also has NO RECOMMENDED LENGTH - just like Kirpan Length....so Dastaar can be 1 metre..to 400 Metres...personal choice.:happy::happy::happy:


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## Archived_Member_19 (Apr 28, 2009)

Gyani ji

i have a question,

Why are the kesh of beard left open and not covered?

why is that not considered a beadbi.

i know by my reputation, you might think of this as a sarcastic question, but i am really serious. Want to understand your view point.


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## Gyani Jarnail Singh (Apr 28, 2009)

Amarsanghera Ji..
 Ha Ha..
Kesh of Head..covered........kesh of mustache/beard.....uncovered........kesh on stomach..arm pits..navel region...below that..covered...........kesh on legs..............soemtimes covered..sometimes uncovered..

Take your pick ji....uncovering the covered may be or not be...covering the ususally uncovered may be..or not be..???

What exactly you want me to say ?? Cover the uncovered..or uncover the covered ??


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## Archived_Member_19 (Apr 29, 2009)

exactly.. Gyani ji

some insight into how many "Sikh" thought leaders deride people tying their beards or applying gel to set their beard, moustaches.

but seriously

Why are head kesh different from other when considering beadbi?


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## Gyani Jarnail Singh (Apr 29, 2009)

Guru Piayario Jios,
Dear Amar ji,

The HEAD is the seat of intellect..our Mind..our Brain...the Third Eye...it carries the King's Crown..the Emperor's Crown..etc etc...it is the Organ that we BOW..Matha Tek....in reverence..acceptance of authority...Dasam Duar..the Conscience...etc etc is suppposedly resident in the HEAD...so KESH on HEAD have special significance.

2. Historical ref in Mannu Laws...a Brahmin who is caugt red handed doing soemthing which entails the DEATH PENALITY...has an "escape clause" ( for the Brahmin ONLY..what else is New ??) that for such a Brahmin..just cuttiong hsi Head Hair is enough..or same as physical decapitation of his head. So while everyone else gets his/her ehad cut off...the wily one just gets   a crew cut !! Nice..very Nice indeed.. The hair can grow back..and the wily one can go on another crime spree !! again ?? YES.
Now to our very own "Brahmins"..the Taksalis..the akj types...They also hold the view that our Guru Gobind Singh ji..will catch hold of our HEAD KESH..and PULL us out of HELL - if we ever happen to fall in ?? Someone shoudl ahve informed these holy ones that our KESH..burn up like Grass on the Funeral Pyre..Kesh jalleh jaise ghaas ka phulla !!..and we LEAVE them BEHIND with the rest of our BODY...thus the SOUL has no KESH..and no one is going to do any pulling. Furthermore..isnt it BEADBI to "PULL ones HEAD KESH"...and to say GURU JI will DO *THAT*..is another BEADBI..of BOTH - Kesh  and Guru Ji.

To a Gurmukh..all ROM..each strand of hair on the BODY is Special..Holy..and not to be violated..beadbi done against. So thats that. A Gurmukh aspires to have each ROM..do simran of Waheguru Naam japp...


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## Archived_Member_19 (Apr 30, 2009)

<The HEAD is the seat of intellect..our Mind..our Brain...the Third Eye...it carries the King's Crown..the Emperor's Crown..etc etc...it is the Organ that we BOW..Matha Tek....in reverence..acceptance of authority...Dasam Duar..the Conscience...etc etc is suppposedly resident in the HEAD...so KESH on HEAD have special significance.>

Gyani ji

i speak the shabd Guru with my Tongue, then it must be the most significant part of the body

my hands serve the needy and poor...they must be the most significant part of the body

then why a special status to head?

i can understand the concept of dasam duar, i seriously haven't seen it or felt it...i do feel an ache in middle of the chest sometimes when i see someone suffering and one i cannot help. 

why only head kesh uncovered is beadbi?


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## Hardip Singh (May 1, 2009)

randip singh said:


> Sikhs do not have a monoply on turbans!
> 
> So I cannot see why not.


 
Veer jeo,
I fully agree with Bhai Randip Singh. We never had the monoply or the exclusive rights over the turban. Still in India's South, it is considered prestigeous to wear the turban and what about our Arbian people of Katar and other provinces where it is custmoery to wear turban. This issue itself is not stainable. 
Regards and Guru Fateh.


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## Gyani Jarnail Singh (May 1, 2009)

amr ji,
the tongue, the hands, the heart..the feet....ALL work under direct authority of the BRAIN..HEAD...MIND.
IF the MIND says..go to the PUB and drink..the Feet will walk that way..the Hands will hold the glassee..and the Tongue will savour the Whisky..the EARS will enjoy Bhangra lacher geets and the EYES will see Half naked girls dancing on TV...chamkilas songs instead of Kirtan...
ONLY when the MIND says..go to bthe Gurdwara..will the feet lead that way..the Hands will fold and pray..the tongue will say Gurbani..the EARS will hear Kirtan...Eyes will see "God's people/sangat"...and body will serve the sangat...etc etc..
In other words..ALL of them are "sleepers" until the HEAD awakens them...so its the HEAD thats the HEAD...and thats why its covered with the CROWN...and the FEET covered with SHOES...rather than the other way around.
Just the other day a SHOE was THROWN at soemone....ever heard of a DASTAAR being thrown that way ??..even when OFF the HEAD..the dastaar has  a class of its own..HIGH CLASS/Honourable.


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## vsgrewal48895 (May 1, 2009)

Turban has been used centuries before the Sikh way of life came in to being. It was a status symbol indicating superiority or leadership (ਸਿਕਦਾਰ) or was worn by kings etc. The spirituality touch to the turban can only be given by utilizing the moral values of compassion, contentment, continence, truth, righteousness, and good deeds. With out these moral values it is just an ordinary part of the dress to protect the hairs and when combined with other symbols are considered as a source of identity of Sikhs. It does not confer spirituality per se for which one has to work hard and taking the prescriptions laid down in AGGS, so the question of disrespect to what (?) does not arise.

Virinder S. Grewal

Bibliography;


Guru Nanak, Raag Asa, AGGS, Page, 471-2
Guru Nanak, Raag Asa, AGGS, Page, 470-17
Guru Arjan, Raag Maru, AGGS, Page, 1084-9
Kabir, Raag Kidara, AGGS, Page, 1124-5


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## Gyani Jarnail Singh (May 1, 2009)

No where in Gurbani of SGGS... and no poster has ever indicated that wearing a dastaar and the 5Ks confers "spirituality" or "superiority"....or a free ticket into Heaven...and vice versa ticket to hell for not wearing them. Such a stance cannot be backed up and no one has done this in any posts.
Similar logic also stands in respect of "spirituality" "superiority" a free ticket to heaven..good hearted etc etc as AUTOMATIC in persons who dont wear the dastaar/5ks. SHUBH AMLAAN BAJHOH DOVEHN ROVEH....applies.
Both....one who wears a dastaar and thinks he is automatically "holy"..and the Nanga sir who thinks barehead confers "holiness" on him  are wrong in basic logic.
Guur Gobind Singh ji also NEVER said all those who wear the 5Ks are AUTOMATICALLY welcome in my "heaven"..( that they can do anything, commit any crimes..but simply having the 5ks guarantees them my pleasure...) So what the big fuss ?? why go on and on....it has been said time and again that the PAHUL is just a FIRST STEP...the real hard work FOLLOWS this....steps towards spirituality BEGIN after PAHUL...if someone claims otherwise..its his folly..just as its his folly if someone claims spirituality just because he shaves.
BUt ...in MALAYSIA..an avowed clean shaven..who used to argue that his clean shaven look is all the spirituality he ever needs and he is just as good a sikh as any so called 5ks wearer..and who was seen pushing his way to the front dastarless as  a Sikh "leader" recently took to wearing a dsataar when trying to project the "sikh leader" look. WHY he adopted this "look" when he knows and everyone knows that the cleanshavens are more than 90% of the Sikh population... I also met a famous clean shaven advocate of spirituality in Chandigarh in 2006..back home in USA he goes dastarless...BUT at an IOSS Seminar..he wore a dastaar ( probably to appear more Sikh like among all the dastaar dharees ) I must admit i havent yet met a Dastaarwallh taking OFF his puggh among the clean shaven sikhs to appear more like them....even though they may be bald due to old age...Once  a puggh wallah always a pughhwallah...
So to me its more of a personal attitude/problem...go with whatever your heart says....just remain calm and peaceful.....all will be OK..as there are millions of cleanshavens already...a few more wont do any harm..the KHALSA was never about MAJORITY anyway. So YES disrespect or no respect or respect..its all in ones own attitude.....


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## vsgrewal48895 (May 1, 2009)

Dear Bhagat Ji,

I agree with your comments. Turban has been used centuries before the Sikh way of life came in to being. It was a status symbol indicating superiority or leadership (ਸਿਕਦਾਰ) or was worn by kings etc. The spirituality touch to the turban can only be given by utilizing the moral values of compassion, contentment, continence, truth, righteousness, and good deeds. With out these moral values it is just an ordinary part of the dress to protect the hairs and when combined with other symbols are considered as a source of identity of Sikhs. It does not confer spirituality per se for which one has to work hard following the prescription laid down in AGGS, so the question on disrespect to what (?) does not arise.

Cordially

Virinder S. Grewal

Bibliography;


Guru Nanak, Raag Asa, AGGS, Page, 471-2
Guru Nanak, Raag Asa, AGGS, Page, 470-17
Guru Arjan, Raag Maru, AGGS, Page, 1084-9
Kabir, Raag Kidara, AGGS, Page, 1124-5


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## vsgrewal48895 (May 1, 2009)

Giani Ji Says,

"So to me its more of a personal attitude/problem...go with whatever your heart says....just remain calm and peaceful.....all will be OK..as there are millions of cleanshavens already...a few more wont do any harm..the KHALSA was never about MAJORITY anyway. So YES disrespect or no respect or respect..its all in ones own attitude.”

Dear Giani Ji,

Attitude is a complex mental state involving beliefs, feelings, values and dispositions to act in certain ways.  It affects the choices one makes. Attitude of gratitude creates happiness because it makes us feel full and complete. It is the realization that we have everything we need, at least in the present moment. Gratitude bears only positive feelings -- love, compassion, joy and hope.  It melts away fear, anger and bitterness. Mind needs Akal Purkh’s Grace for its control. God’s Grace is blessed to those individuals who become better humans by an active effort of subjugating the lower instincts and develop higher instincts, by supplicating Akal Purkh in their prayers, to remove their character defects. 

*>If the lower instincts dominate the higher ones, the result is a negative attitude.*

*>If the higher instincts dominate or kill the lower instincts, the result is Spiritual Progress with a positive attitude.*

I will be the first to admit that when I've failed in life, I've caused my own failures. My attitude hasn't always been a positive one.  I spent that time in my life focusing on the negative rather than the positive, on the limitations rather than on the potentials, on what I was missing rather than on what I had. I can’t tell you when the change occurred, or where, or how. It's been a long process.  I still have to keep working at in order to keep it going. I have learned through reading, deliberating, reflecting in action, watching people, and asking questions.  I had to learn that my world is what I make of it.  I have been blessed with many gifts, but it's up to me whether I use them.  If I do not, I'm pretty much wasting my time on this planet. I always saw this as something that was so easy to say, because people who had their acts together always said it. 

It took me a while to realize that by focusing on the negative things in my life, I was perpetuating them through my fears. As I slowly began to shift my focus to the positive, I found that life became more and more positive as I detached myself away from it. Eventually, I became one of the people who say that it's your attitude more than anything else that determine how your life goes. When I started to change my attitude, I started to see that life doesn't determine who I am or how happy or unhappy I am--life doesn't care. The world is impersonal. But I care, and I prefer to be positive and happy. I'm much better to myself when I am, and I'm much better for others when I am.

Our attitude tells the world what we expect in return.  If it's a cheerful, expectant attitude, it says to everyone with whom we come in contact that we expect the best in our dealings with the world. You see, we tend to live up to our expectations.  And others give to us, as far as their attitudes are concerned, what we expect.  Our attitude is something we can control.  We can establish our attitude each morning when we start our day.  In fact, we do just that, whether or not we realize it.  And the people in our family -- all the people in our world -- will reflect back to us the attitude we present to them.  It is, then, our attitude toward life that determines life's attitude toward us.  Everything we say or do will cause a corresponding effect.  If we're cheerful, glad to be experiencing this miracle of life, others will reflect that good cheer back to us.

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.  Attitudes are contagious.  Are yours worth catching? 
Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day. Happiness is an attitude.  We either make ourselves miserable, or happy and strong.  The amount of work is the same. He who has so little knowledge of human nature as to seek happiness by changing anything but his own disposition will waste his life in fruitless efforts. If you don't like something change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it. The only people who find what they are looking for in life are the fault finders.  Think big thoughts but relish small pleasures. Every thought is a seed.  If you plant crab apples, don't count on harvesting Golden Delicious. Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed. To be upset over what you don't have is to waste what you do have. The only disability in life is a bad attitude. My riches consist not in the extent of my possessions, but in the fewness of my wants.  There is nothing so easy but that it becomes difficult when you do it reluctantly. Just because you're miserable doesn't mean you can't enjoy your life.
All the while I'm working to change my attitude: 

_I let go of revenge. 
I want to "get well," instead of "get even." 
I will no longer wallow in resentment. 
I still have wounds, but I no longer nurse them: instead, 
I immerse them in helping others; and 
I reverse them by changing my negatives into positives. 
I am on my way to becoming better than before._ 

Cordially,
Virinder S. Grewal


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